I was picking up the phone at work when I noticed it, the tattoo on my wrist. The tattoo that I got almost three years ago, right before I decided to take a turn in life towards a path more religious, after an event that shook my world. It’s funny, because I later sent my friend a picture of the tattoo on my calf that showed quite clearly through my tights no matter how thick (we’re talking 60 denier here people -- 60!) It caused me to laugh at how much my life has changed -- from tattoos and nose rings to tights and knee length skirts.
I was a senior at Arapahoe High School when there was a shooting in 2013. It changed all of our lives and its effects can be a story all on its own, but this is (my) positive light that came from that darkness; I wasn’t born particularly observant (traditional at best) but when I saw how faith helped so many during this trying time I decided to turn towards it and I don’t regret it for even a second.
I think becoming in touch with my religious side caused me to not only to change how I acted and looked, but how I viewed the world and what occurred within it. Prior to learning about my Judaism I never felt content. Everything always felt very overwhelming and there was a hollowness where fulfillment should have been; the one thing I’d always known was that I felt happiest when I was doing something pertaining to my religion -- overnight summer camp, going to Israel, or even Hebrew school. I never truly realized what joy it actually brought me until after I had become fully observant and was living in the Chassidic community of Crown Heights.
Why is it though that something as simple (or maybe not so simple) as religion could have such an effect on me? G-d is amazing, and I suppose it seems a little taboo to say in today’s society, but I truly do believe it. We live in a world where the answer of, “Just because.” is more plausible than anything Divine, but I choose to believe in the Higher Power and it’s quite freeing.
The saying, “Let go and let G-d.” never truly made sense until I started doing it; knowing that there is something bigger than us and the world, that continuously creates everything we know and don’t know. Even when times are tough and it feels as if the G-d we know to be good isn’t showing that goodness, even if we want to scream and cry and be mad, it’s okay. I was always told that at least if I was mad at G-d, I was admitting that He was in control. We release a bit of the weight and burden when we establish that there is only so much control that we have and that ultimately it’s up to G-d.
I went from tattoos to tights, and I wouldn’t change it. My outlook on life is so much happier and I have become a more wholesome person. This isn’t being written to push my faith or any faith for that matter, but it is being written as an encouragement in belief. What do you believe in? As long as you believe in something, anything, it can carry you through anything that may come your way.
In the words of my seminary principal, Rabbi Majeski, “Have simple faith, faith like a three year old.”
