Each day that passes, I grow stronger. I grow strong enough to move forward. I grow strong enough to move past. Each day that passes I grow more thankful. I'm here again. I'm breathing.
I am alive.
When you reach a point in your life where you think there's no other way out, it's hard. It's hard knowing that you have so many people that care about you, but you still feel alone. It's hard knowing you have reasons to be here but can't think of a single one that is strong enough to defeat your demons.
When you have to force yourself awake every day, force yourself out of bed, force yourself to eat, you wonder why you keep doing this. You question all the different solutions but end up with one.
It's hard when you hit that point. It's hard when you fight yourself back and forth over it so many times. It's hard when you think of all the people you love and you can't decide what is easier for them.
To fight every day, that's what's worth it.
To see your brothers graduate high school. To see your cousins go to their first prom. To go to dinner with your grandparents. To video chat your loved ones across the country and across the world. To meet the love of your life. To graduate college and get the degree. To get married. To have a baby of your own and watch them grow. To lay in bed with your mom talking about your day. To call your dad and hear those lame dad jokes.
That's what's worth it.
First hand, I know it's hard. It's hard getting to that point.
I know that you're happy now but you still feel the weight of guilt surrounding you. I know that you're stronger now, but that day and memory haunt you. I know that every year it's hard to think about what once was. But I also know that you are still are.
We are all here.
We have to look at every day that passes as a new opportunity. A new chance to make a change. A new chance to save someone else's life that is very similar to how yours once was.
We are survivors. We have to not only remember those who we lost, but we have to save those who are struggling. We need to tell them our stories and share with them how we are still here and that the longer you fight the stronger you become. We have to let ourselves show our vulnerability so we can connect and grow with each other. We have to stand strong together.
From someone who has been in those shoes. You are worth it. You are here and alive. You are beautiful and you are strong.
If anyone is struggling with the thought of suicide, whether it be you or a loved one, don't hide quietly. Talk to someone. The suicide hotline is always open and your loved ones care, even if sometimes they seem like they don't.
Don't become a victim of suicide, become a warrior.
