Let me start this off by saying that my freshman year of college didn't go as I expected it to.
When I was finished packing all of my things, I was holding back tears. I was scared to move out -as most high school graduates are- just as much as I was excited. I moved into the dorms and onto my next stage of life.
The first couple of weeks were spent getting situated and comfortable in my new "home." I also had to get used to my class schedule, and once that happened, I got a job waitressing to cover my bills. I worked hard and played hard, and I loved my first experience with freedom - being allowed to go out after work at 11 p.m. and not get in trouble, going to my suitemate's room and hanging out until 4 a.m., eating ice cream for breakfast, all of the things I never could've gotten away with at home .Adulthood was much harder than people said it would be, but knowing that I was thriving made me proud. Then, before I knew it, it was April and I was packing into boxes again with the same tears in my eyes, getting ready to come home for the summer because the lease on my house doesn't start until September.
I love my family to the moon and back, and we both talked about how excited we were to be around each other again. However, I had just had my first taste of freedom, and I wasn't willing to spit that out anytime soon. My parents understood that, thankfully, and pretty much let me do my own thing.
However, there has definitely been some tension, most of it stemming from me and my own feelings. There's nothing more disappointing than looking at photo strips on the fridge that everyone in your family is in except you. There's nothing quite like calling some place "home" when you don't even have a bed or room. I didn't even know where the silverware drawer was because they moved into a new house right before I went away. The feeling of being replaced or forgotten is by far the worst possible part of adjusting to being an adult.
The worst part is the frustration that built up between my family and I. I resented them for moving on so quick; for not inviting me to the cool event with the photo strips, for all hanging out in their rooms because they weren't used to me being home, for going to bed early before I even get home from work, etc. My parents were upset that I filled my day with work and wouldn't come home until late, and I was upset that they would be gone during the day when I was home and asleep when I got home. With all of the tension swirling around the house, it caused for some messy arguments. From me saying they treated me like a child to them telling me that I was ungrateful, there were things that can't be unsaid and things that can't be undone.
Through all of the tears and frustration, however, I learned some important lessons (and one of the lessons isn't that I'm better off on my own). I learned to make time for the people and things that mattered most, and learned to prioritize. I learned that it isn't easy for parents to adjust to their kids leaving, but it's not any easier to adjust to them coming home. I learned more about how to save my money, and just how precious air conditioning is. My parents had to adjust to having another adult in the house, and I had to adjust to being under their roof again. And through all of that, we all had to remember that we love each other.
All those are great lessons to learn, but probably the most important for me was realizing how much I missed while I was at school, and how much I had to be thankful for. Yeah, my brothers annoy me to no end, but I miss having someone to watch sports with and support at games. I missed going to my little sister's gymnastics and dance events, because even though they were a hassle, I missed the smile that she has when she's having fun. And even though my parents argue, I missed watching them love each other unconditionally, which is what I want in my marriage one day. I came back because I had nowhere to go for a few months, and my family was there for me on my good days and bad, and that's something that people don't get to cherish as much when they enter adulthood.
When it is all said and done, coming home for the summer was a good experience... but I think I might stick to weekends and holidays from now on.
