If you’ve seen movies like “House Bunny” or “Legally Blonde” you know sororities are portrayed as groups of young, not so bright, girls whose main extracurricular activities include partying and not much else. The term “sorority girl” had become synonymous with the word “slut” to most people, Elle Woods wasn't even taken seriously until she left her sorority to go to Harvard. This was the mindset I kept all through high school and up until the summer before my freshman year at ISU.
High school had been difficult for me and as a result, I was left with a minimal amount of friends, and having almost no friends in a town where corn fields were the main attraction, I wasn't left with very many options for "fun." I was sulking one evening, or what my mother liked to describe as “throwing a pity party for myself,” when she suggested something I’d never imagine, especially coming from her.
“Elaine, why don’t you join a sorority at ISU?”
I looked at her with an expression of complete confusion mixed with a little disgust.
“Mom, you hate sororities, and so do I, what good is that going to do me?”
She didn’t push me any harder, she suggested I give it a try and if I didn’t like it I could drop out. I said “yeah, whatever” and continued with feeling sorry for myself.
When it came time to register for recruitment, with a few more gentle nudges from my mother and a friend from high school who would soon become my sister, I was somehow registered to go through formal recruitment. Before I knew it I was sitting at a table in a giant room, packed to the brim with young women, all dressed up and ready to put their best foot forward. I looked around the Braden Ballroom, taking in the scenery and analyzing all these girls and initially, I felt completely alone. I knew I didn’t fit in with these types of girls, I had shopped in the boys' section up until eighth grade, I had no idea how to curl my hair, and walking in heels was a joke for me. I once tried a pair on and twisted an ankle trying to take one step. I had never known how to be a “girl.” I looked down at the dress I was wearing, it gripped me tightly and I tugged at it uncomfortably while I stared down at my unpainted toes that stuck out awkwardly over my sandals. I almost got up and left right there, but something (probably the social anxiety of being watched as I left the room) made me stay put.
It was miserably hot, and girls were packed like sardines into sweaty school buses and shuttled from house to house, I was exhausted and sticky but I survived. I remember feeling incredibly awkward while watching girls sing to me from the door of the first house I visited, but I thought to myself they probably feel ten times as awkward as I do. It was incredibly loud and I spent most of the conversations I had with the first few girls asking “what?” and leaning in, straining to hear them. At some point I think I gave up and ended up nodding and smiling and saying “yeah” to everything that was said to me. Being social is actually exhausting.
When I stood in front of the red door of the Alpha Gamma Delta house, I felt slightly more at ease, and when I walked through the entrance I was picked up by my friend from high school and I could feel the tension lift from my shoulders. “Hi, Elaine! How are you doing?” she asked me, casually. My strained smile melted away and was replaced by a natural grin, I let my spine relax and slowly I melted back into my natural form. I knew after that first day of welcome rounds that if I were really going to become a “sorority girl” I wanted to be an Alpha Gamma Delta. Recruitment suddenly wasn’t so bad after that. I ignored comments from my roommate as I got dressed the next morning saying things to me like “you really want to pay for friends?” and despite the nauseating heat of the August afternoons, the only time I felt uncomfortable for the rest of the recruitment process was that moment before I received my new list of houses each day, terrified that Alpha Gamma Delta wouldn’t be there. But it always was, and every day I went back, I was more and more excited.
By the time bid day came around I was confident that I would be an Alpha Gamma Delta, but my confidence in my bid made me no less excited to actually receive it. My entire perspective of sororities had been changed in less than a week. Instead of the daft blonde bimbos, I saw on the television screen, I saw intelligent, hard-working, and dedicated girls that loved their organizations and their sisters. (and with a wide variety of hair colors besides blonde) I was hugged and welcomed into their family like I had always belonged there. I met funny and quirky girls, smart and classy girls, outgoing girls, shy girls, all types of girls just in Alpha Gamma Delta. I realized I didn't have to meet a certain criteria to belong here. I just had to be me and that alone was what made me an AGD. I made new friends and opened up in ways I never thought I could, and yes, I even learned to walk in heels. I learned how to sorority squat, twisted my fingers into our hand sign and took more photographs than I have in my entire life. I did things I never thought I'd feel comfortable doing and I enjoyed them anyway. Alpha Gamma Delta became my home away from home and taught me new things about myself while still embracing what made me unique.
Just in the year, I have been a part of the organization I have learned so much about what it means to be a sister. There is no such thing as a "sorority girl" there are only girls in sororities and all of them are beautiful and uniquely different from one another while sharing common goals and values. So to the girls who still believe in the sorority stigma: Yes, I do pay for my friends, and they're worth every penny! My advice to all girls who had the same beliefs as me is to just do it. You might find your home just like me.
