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From The Girl Who Suffers With Depression & Anxiety

You Aren't Alone.. There Is Hope.

Melanie Campbell

Aug 30, 2017

Lehigh Valley, PA

From The Girl Who Suffers With Depression & Anxiety

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Every day you look in the mirror and you think... "Not again." The memories of the last ten years flow through your mind. You are at constant struggle between living and dying. You are at constant struggle to fight those demons. You look at yourself and you don't know how to deal with the fact you haven't lost those 40 pounds your so desperate to lose to be ''okay'' with your body.

You fight in your mind whether or not your good enough. You fight in your mind if you are good enough for your daughter and your fiance. You cry most nights because you don't know what's wrong with you. They obviously chose you for a reason. But you can't help but think that there would of been someone better. Your mind races everyday. You can't help but be awake at two in the morning because your mind won't shut off. You can't help walking into work nauseous because you think it's going to be the same as yesterday.

In your mind you want everything to go perfect. One small thing causes you to be a wreck. You want your daughter to stop crying and screaming and no matter what you do, nothing works. You You like giving up and you feel like throwing in the towel but you can't. That child depends on you and you can't give up now.

The memories that haunt you seem to be lasting all day. You have constant flash backs and you can't help but let them put you in a funk. You can't help but to feel helpless and hopeless. Especially since it's been everyday this week and you just want to cut your brain out.

You can't help but sit and cry because you don't know what's wrong with you. You can't help but sit and wonder why. What caused me to be like this. What caused this illness in your own head? Why are you cursed with something so horrible? Something that could cause you to do such horrible things to yourself?

Every day mental illness is a struggle for me. Every day I fight to get up in the morning for work. I fight to just have a little piece of quiet when I put my daughter to bed. I fight to be normal. I fight to exist. You aren't alone. There is hope. There is help. Please remember to Always Keep Fighting.

Always Keep Fighting is a non-profit organization that I do not own. AKF was founded by Jared Padalecki, all rights belong to him and his team.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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From The Girl Who Suffers With Depression & Anxiety

You Aren't Alone.. There Is Hope.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!