Through my pre-teen and teenage years, I was always the one to stay quiet if someone were to disrespect me or even bully me.

There was this fire in my heart that was burning, wanting to stand up for myself, but just never figured out a way to do so. I think this is something that I regret the most about my past, never being able to defend myself and demand a certain level of respect from other people. As the years went on, that slowly but surely started to change.

I don't allow myself to be treated poorly or disrespected for no reason anymore. If someone were to make a rude and unnecessary comment about me, I no longer just pretend like I didn't hear it, that person is going to know that they can't say whatever they want about me. The fire and urge that was once in my heart to stand up for myself is now out in the world and it makes me feel very good that I can walk away knowing that I didn't just let someone walk all over me. For the people that have known me ever since I was younger and if they see me now, they know the huge step I took to now stand up for myself when needed.

If I were to give advice to the people that are younger and may be facing similar challneges as to what I used to face when I was a kid, my advice would be to defend yourself. Don't let someone think that just because they have a big mouth that they can disrespect you. This isn't to say that you should start a fight with someone and make the altercation even bigger than it was to begin with, it just means using your own voice to make sure that the other person knows that they can't just say or do whatever they want to you without facing a consequence.

I remember the first time I stood up for myself, it was probably one of the scariest things in my entire life to open my mouth to the other person and demand that they have a certain level of respect for me. It's scary because you never know how the other person is going to react, but if you don't defend yourself you will always feel stuck in this spot where you feel like anyone can attack you at any moment. I knew for myself if I wanted to feel like a stronger individual, I would have to learn how to stand up for myself.

This lesson wasn't an easy one to learn, but it was something that needed to be done. I also think it comes with age and with time, although I wish that I was as strong as I am now back when I was in high school. You live and you learn from your past and that is what helps you grow and develop into the person you are today.

Standing up for yourself and defending yourself brings you this sense of confidence within yourself.