People have asked me for weeks now how the Lord has been working in my life and how I find joy on a daily basis. I wouldn't say the days have been easy. In fact, they've been extremely tough. Some days are harder than others, but I always try and remind myself of one good thing the Lord has provided me with during that moment in time. Relying on the God's strength and guidance the past few months, I've been taught some valuable lessons about my faith that I've been wanting to share with others. I've been neglecting an act of obedience, and Jesus gave me a second chance.
About mid-September I started questioning my identity in Christ. Was I really seeking after the Lord if I was afraid to share my faith with others? Had I become so comfortable with the gospel that I lost sight of what it really meant? Being convicted of a few sin struggles, I sought Christian council in my spiritual walk. I knew the Lord was telling me to act upon something, but I couldn't put a pin on it. I did everything the Lord was asking me to: read my Bible, went to church, prayed everyday, helped others. But what I was missing was the truth of the gospel. I wasn't living my life for Christ on fire for the Lord. Once I realized that needed to change, Jesus grabbed ahold of my heart and told me to repent.
Turning away from my selfish desires, I knew it was going to be hard. I have friends and family who I seek to please and was disappointed when my actions were not affirmed or approved. Over time it became exhausting to try and please those around me. I sought out the Lord, and He answered me. He delivered me from my fears and failures and called me His own. With faith in Christ, I no longer have to worry about what those around me think. I am chosen and understand that my identity is found in Christ and not in anything else.
Giving my life to Christ five years ago seems like a lifetime. I remember crying in the gym of Hillcrest Baptist Church overwhelmed by the weight of my sin calling out for a savior. Five years down the road, I am still in need of the savior every day. While I have grown in my own spiritual walk, the gospel never changes. The Lord pointed out to me that I was making up excuses not to follow through with obedience to Him and was rather choosing to live my life my own way. I was living a life made up of good works instead of by faith. In essence, everything I was doing for the Lord was dead and had nothing to prove.
Seeking out new truth and handing over my full trust to the Lord has been a scary decision. But it has undoubtedly been the best decision I've ever made. Deciding to follow through with believers baptism has allowed me to publicly profess my faith and share the gospel with others. I no longer have to hide Jesus from those around me and am able to share the love of Christ to everyone around me. This new revival has my heart on fire for the Lord. In my daily life, I am constantly reading the Word and praying that the Lord would use me as a vessel to share his promises with the world. I am sent out on mission to make disciples, and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store.
I pray today that your heart will be changed by the message of Jesus Christ. He has fully captured my heart, and I hope his Word transforms your life too.
