Have you ever really thought about being old? Like being seventy five? Have you ever really looked at an old person? Like your grandmother or the old man that lives across the street. Do you get that same pit in your stomach that I do?
It seems that life stops for old people. One minute you’re this independent, forty-five year old mother of two and the next you’re a seventy-five year old lady who isn’t allowed to bath herself.
Society treats old people like garbage if you think about it.
When you’re born you are this dependent, little creature who knows nothing about the world, and you cannot fend for yourself, so you rely on your parents to help you survive. Then, as time goes on and you are taught to stand on your own two feet, you turn into this incredible, independent person whom others rely on. However, once you grow old, it seems that you regress back to your infant days when you are dependent on others, you cannot fend for yourself and others believe that you know nothing about the world. You aren’t allowed to make your own decisions anymore. You have someone watching over you like a hawk again. You aren’t allowed to make a single move without someone fearing that you’ll injure yourself. You aren’t trusted to cook your own meals for fear of starting a fire, etc. See the trend? You aren’t allowed to do the same things that you weren’t allowed to do as a child….
Society makes it seem that the elderly are too incompetent to live on their own, which is too far from the truth.
Honestly, what’s the point of growing old if you are seen as this incapable, feebleminded, frail individual?
I understand, in certain circumstances, that caretakers have good intentions for these ‘rules and restrictions.’ I had a grandfather who suffered from Alzheimer’s and a grandmother that currently suffers from Dementia. So I genuinely understand how under certain medical conditions it is important to keep a watchful eye on an elderly person for their own safety as well as for the safety of others. But I’m not talking about the elderly people who are diagnosed with mental diseases and other severe medical conditions that prevent them from living an independent, safe life. I’m talking about the average old woman or man.
Why does society punish the elderly for becoming old? Aren’t we supposed to strive to live a long life, which entails getting older? Why do we expect grandparents to watch their grandkids yet we don’t allow them to walk up a flight of stairs? If you ask me, caring for rambunctious, sugar-high children is a lot freaking harder and comes with a lot more risks than walking up a flight of stairs.
For those of you struggling to understand my point, let me give you a more in depth example of how individuals oppress the elderly, which society then turns into a norm.
Let’s say you’re a middle aged woman and your mother is older, about seventy-five. You visit her as much as you can during the week/weekends. When you visit her you bring her food you prepared for her, give her a bath, put aside her clothing, help her get dressed, take out her garbage and maybe you even move her bed downstairs so that she doesn’t have to climb the stairs. Those are all things that most people think a good daughter would do right? Well, not me.
If I was seventy-five and my daughter was living my life for me I would be so frustrated. It’s true that as you get older you are unable to move as quickly as when you were younger, and you cannot do as much as you could do some years ago. However, that doesn’t mean that you are incapable of doing miniscule, daily tasks like cooking for yourself, bathing yourself, walking up some stairs, sleeping upstairs, taking out your garbage and picking out your own outfit to wear. You’re not a baby.
So why are the elderly treated as if they cannot fend for themselves? Why? I understand that sons and daughters want to care for their parents to repay them for years of raising them when they were children, but this is going about that the wrong way. This is taking away your elderly mother’s or father’s freedom. Nobody, at any point in their life, should have to be subjected to such treatment, except for babies who need this form of nurturing.
Now, this is just my opinion. This is simply how I would feel if I were treated this way. Again, I know that the individuals treating elderly people the ways I have mentioned do have good intentions, but I see how frustrated my friends’ grandparents get when someone takes a heavy box from their arms or doesn’t allow them to walk up the stairs.
I can tell you this: I won’t take away my parents’ freedom and right to live their own life when they become older. I will help them as much as I can, but I will not treat them like a two-year old.
If my dad is eighty years old and still wants to ski 60 mph in below zero weather then you know what? Go for it dad. Who am I to stop him?
The elderly has more life experience and wisdom than those who are trying to care for them. So we need to treat them with respect. Society needs to give them the responsibility and freedom that they have earned since the first time they could tie their shoes on their own or drive a car or care for their own children.
As I said earlier: when I look at older people I get this pit in my stomach, because it seems that the life has been unwillingly sucked out of them. Society is responsible for this. You hear about elderly people that run marathons and do exotic things like ride elephants in India. Anyone can do that; age does not restrict you from living your life the way that you want to. Society needs to stop viewing old people as worn out, ‘has been,’ washed up individuals that already had their freedom and chance to live.
Where does society get this notion that life stops when someone turns eighty, ninety or even one hundred? Life only stops when you’re dead.
