Friends are a great thing to have. They're your personal pick-me-up when you're feeling down and need a boost. They're the people you can talk about the weirdest things with at 3 AM and not be judged.
Friends are those special people who will tell you how it is and you won't be offended because you know they're right. Friendships are a lovely addition in life and the more you're around them, the more you feel like they're family. And yet, my friendship with my friend group ended awhile ago.
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Honestly, I couldn't be happier.
I was always a part of a group during my younger years. We always hung out, whether in or out of school. We liked the same things and did the same things. It was as if I was looking in a multi-way mirror.
But as most of you have figured out, those same friendships don't last once you get to high school or even college. They dissipate and become nonexistent without a trace. They become so catastrophic that the only way out is to drown.
How can you be friends with people who just turn their back on you one by one? Hanging out everyday and sitting together at lunch results in sitting by yourself at a table with strangers. Always laughing and telling jokes turns to seeing each other and doing nothing at all and glances become glances never returned to your used-to-be friends. Talking to each other turns to talking about each other.
When you lose those friends whom you considered family, something inside you breaks. Your spirit, your confidence, your happiness, your soul, your mind, your heart... Something isn't the same anymore and at times, you tend to blame yourself for these events. You wonder whether you were too overbearing, too excited, too talkative, too much of anything. You think you broke apart the friendship and ruined it all on your own.
But listen, this isn't your fault. It never was your fault. Your friends left on their own terms and if anyone should be happy about that, it's you.
You don't control what people say or do, you don't control the moon that in turn controls the tide. What you can control is yourself.
You can control your actions and your attitude, your expressions and emotions, your well-being. You control how actions affect your attitude. You are a good enough person to know that you did nothing wrong. They left because they changed, and you did not.
I realized through personal experience that it wasn't me who did wrong. It wasn't even my friends. All throughout life certain people come into your life for certain reasons. Some people come to teach you lessons while others come to build a life with you involved.
My friend group was not meant to stay in my life. They came through my life to show me I'm stronger than what they think I am. I'm stronger than what I think I am. I can accomplish more on my own than I can with someone's help.
I realized I don't need the constant support of temporary people in life. I don't need the reassurance of short-term people. Through that interim group of friends, I learned self-love, self-appreciation, self-worth. I learned how to love and support myself better than any brief friend ever could.
For those that know what this feels like, don't worry and don't stress. There is a better time coming for you. It might be immediate, or it might take some time, but it will come. This isn't the end.
Out of experience I can tell you it is going to be hard. Toxic relationships are what they claim to be, toxic. But you aren't going to go without a friend or that special support from your bestie. Friends stick together and they most definitely stick around. All you're left with is you, yourself, and time.
I am happy to report that I find the person that I have become, and the girl that I used to be, to be very different people. I might not have seen this as a happy ending before, but it is now. It has turned me into a stronger, more confident, and more beautiful version of myself.
So to all my past, short-lived friends, thank you for leaving me behind and making me stronger.
