I hate confrontation. I do everything in my power to avoid arguments at all costs. Sometimes that means that I settle for excuses dressed up as half-hearted apologies. Months go by and I let bitterness build up a wall around my fragile heart. Resentment grows inside me like a weed killing off all of my compassion and understanding.
Although my intent is to just let things go, problems between friends tend to come back like boomerangs if they aren't properly resolved. They follow you around and smack you in the face when you're least expecting it. I do my best to give relationships the space it needs to repair itself on its own.
However as I've gotten older, I've realized that brushing off these problems and giving people space is only a temporary fix-- if that. It's like putting a band-aid on a broken bone that needs re-alignment. It won't fix itself on its own... sometimes it needs surgery. Sometimes friendships need surgery.
I don't want to put off problems anymore. I don't want to grow gradually more and more resentful towards close friends that have hurt me. Sometimes accepting a crappy apology and failing to get to the root of the problem causes even more damage. While I didn't see it at the time, I thought that I was saving a friendship by letting our fight evaporate into thin air, but now I see that it's turned into a cloud that looms over my head every hour of the day.
After months of thought, I think I've come to the conclusion that some friends are worth the fight. They're worth the tears and the uncomfortable awkward silence. Some friendships are strong enough for the battlefield.
The truest friends you'll ever have are the ones that will still be standing next to you when the worst is over. They're the ones that will go to great lengths to understand where you're coming from and do their best to fix the friendship that you both let fall to pieces.
So, like I said before, I hate confrontation. However, there are some friends that I love too much to toss aside for the sake of sparing feelings. True friends talk it out. Don't let your unsolved problems poison your friendship.
