Have you ever had that best friend that you told everything to, did everything with and who sort of just got you? Now, imagine having that friend ripped right out from under you. That's exactly what happened to me about a year ago.
I had the best guy friend in the world — he was my go-to and I couldn't live without him. He knew my coffee order and would run and get me a venti cup when I was having a bad shift at work. He was close with my sisters and would crack jokes with them when they needed a laugh. He was friends with my friends and was just as good to them as he was to me; it was all a dream come true.
And then he got a girlfriend.
I liked her — I really, really liked her. I didn't know her, but he would talk about her like she was the stars on a clear, summer night. What makes him happy makes me happy, so I supported him wholeheartedly. I couldn't have been happier for him. Then, one day, she told him he and I couldn't be friends. My heart shattered into a million pieces and that day, I lost one of the most supportive and caring friends I will ever have.
I never understood why we couldn't be friends. All I wanted in the world was for him to be happy and she did just that — so why would I ever interfere with that? Why would anyone?
Our situation isn't a rare one; I hear about another one of these relationships every day. I just will simply never understand it. Don't girls want their boyfriends to have another girl to go to when there are issues within the relationship? Don't girls want their boyfriends to choose the perfect holiday gift for them or plan the cutest anniversary surprise? That's what female friends are for. Because believe it or not, I have no interest in your boyfriend. I do not want him — he's all yours.
I will never be OK with girlfriends who do this to their boyfriends. I could never imagine asking my boyfriend to cut off his best friend just because she's a girl. Doesn't that sound ridiculous to you?! If my boyfriend had a best friend that was a girl, I would be thrilled — it shows how caring and open he is — and it would just prove to me that he respected other women just as much as he respects me.
I have so many friends that are boys; it's normal to me. I don't like to deal with female drama when I don't have to (because girls really are the worst), and guys are so drama-free. That's probably what I see in your boyfriend: he's real. That doesn't mean I am interested in him — because, for the millionth time, I'm not — but it does mean that I like him as a human and I'd really like to keep my best friend around.
Him being your boyfriend doesn't give you the right to dictate who he's friends with.
We were friends before you came along, so all I ask is that you respect our friendship. I'll be your friend, I'll be upfront with you, I'll do whatever you want as long as I get to keep my friendship with my best friend. If I was a guy, you wouldn't have a problem with it, so think of me as one of the guys — I guarantee that's what your boyfriend sees me as anyway! And if you still can't accept the fact that I am, in fact, your boyfriend's best friend, then you don't deserve him. So, get over it or get over him.
Sorry not sorry.
