He’s the coffee to my mornings, the guac to my tacos. He’s my frustration and my relief. My husband keeps me grounded and makes me feel safe. But above all else, he’s my best friend.

And, no, I won’t apologize for that.

Many of today’s women strive to be fully self-reliant and would rather cut off a finger than rely on a man. There’s nothing wrong with that, but there’s also nothing wrong with the relationship I have with my husband. Living and loving with my best friend does not make me any weaker of a woman.

My husband and I have a wonderful relationship. We both rely on each other, and as two very independent people, that can be tough. At the end of the day, there is no one I would rather come home to make dinner for.

We focus on each other, laugh at the same stupid Youtube videos over and over. (Go search for “Big Enough” by Kirin J. Callinan. You can thank me later.) We bicker and we fight when he messes up my freshly cleaned floors or when I can’t make up my scattered mind.

Both of us have our own separate lives and friends, and we’re okay with that. Despite the troubles every relationship brings, we never say goodnight or goodbye without first making sure everything is okay and saying those utterly important words: “I love you.”

My husband is exactly what any best friend should be.

He’s loyal, and he lets me know it. He’s kind but honest. He’s supportive of my growth. He wants what is best for the both of us, and our child. And finally, he’s there.

My husband is there when I’m happy, celebrating success. He’s there when I am at the lowest of my lows, and always insistent on bringing me back up. He’s there when I’m pissed and fuming, convinced the world is against me. He watches our daughter when I need me time, pops my back the 16 times a day I ask him to, and listens to all of my crazy fiction-writer antics. Even when he’s half a world away, serving our country, he’s there for me. I try my best to be there for him, too.

Now, you tell me: Why should I apologize for being best friends with my husband? I have girlfriends who are very dear to me. One has stuck around for a decade, and others are new and wonderful. (Plus, who says you can’t have multiple best friends?)

Everyone deserves a best friend they can love all of the time, and like most of the time.

(Trust me, marriage is just like every other relationship. There are days you really don’t like each other.)

Someone who will be there for you through thick and thin, and have your back. Someone who cares enough about you to encourage good health, but know when to wipe your tears and hand over the gallon of chocolate ice cream. I was lucky enough to find all of that in the man I married.