I used to love going above and beyond to ensure that special people in my life felt good. I have a tendency to spend hours and hours lying in bed at night, prior to finally falling asleep, contemplating how to make sure I am being a good friend to those that I have cultivated friendships with. Not a day goes by where I fail to check in with the important people in my life. Asking them how they are feeling, how their day went, what exciting plans are ahead, what they are thankful for, and helping them work through any problems they are experiencing are all interactions that I always am sure to initiate and that I take very seriously.
I genuinely care; thus, I initiate the conversation.
As much as I do genuinely care, and trust me, I truly do, I also often find myself frustrated when people do not return the same level of thoughtful consideration to me. As awful as that sounds and as guilty as that makes me feel, I cannot help but acknowledge that these feelings are there. They are real.
Not that I expect a parade of applause or over-exaggeration of thankfulness when I do show true appreciation for my close friends, but it just makes me wonder when the thoughtfulness fails to be reciprocated. Why isn't the golden rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated" coming back to me? Should I draw back how I treat my friends and, if so, how do I go about doing that? Should this lack of reciprocation really be bothering me to the extent that it is or do I need to quit overthinking so much? Is this something that I should just get over quickly, even if it happens repeatedly?
Never, ever suppress your thoughts and feelings, even when they are negative. Recognizing that you are not content with the way a friendship is happening is important and vital to whether the friendship will continue or not. Additionally, it is imperative that you learn how to handle your own thoughts and feelings to remain content with your situation and eventually develop a good sense of self-awareness.
If you are feeling like you too often go above and beyond for a certain person who lacks appreciation, or even reciprocation, do not allow yourself to feel guilty for having these feelings. It is perfectly OK to acknowledge that you wish you were being treated in a different manner; moreover, is especially difficult for people to continue being relentlessly good without wondering how or why they are not being treated similarly.
It's what you do with these feelings that really matter, rather than the mere fact of just experiencing them. The reactions that are conjured from the thoughts that flow through your mind are ultimately the actions that you need to be the most aware of. It's OK to feel upset and bothered by the seemingly unequal commitment to a friendship; how to handle it is completely up to you though.
Perhaps you could brush the touchy subject off and continue living as if it doesn't bother you (when it truly does). Maybe you could learn how to accept the situation as it is and change your perspective. Furthermore, you could talk things out with the other person as a means to potentially solve any hard feelings. Finally, you could also remove yourself from any affiliation with the friendship if the situation grows to be completely unbearable.
Or, you could always write an article about it.
