I don't even know where to start. I didn't think I'd ever have to write something like this.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I had to end things. We went off to different colleges, made new friends, and stopped communicating as much. We grew into two different people, and I guess I just couldn't deal with it. I was so used to us being together all the time that when we grew apart I began to notice how we weren't actually that similar.
I miss you.
I miss you a lot. I miss our friendship and all of our inside jokes and how you know everything about me. I miss being able to FaceTime you when I've had a bad day and tell you when I saw someone from our past. I miss making fun of how much Peanut Butter, apples, and salad you eat. I miss going to the gym with you every day and being so envious of how hard you work. I miss reading your writing because you're so extremely talented.
The wounds are still fresh.
We could have ended our friendship six years ago, or yesterday and I would still be bitter about it. Because I really didn't want it to end, but it turned out to be what was best for the both of us.
I'm trying to be mature about things.
I really am. I see how happy you are with all your new friends and experiences and I try to be happy for you. But it's hard. It's hard seeing you making new memories without me and it's even harder knowing that you're okay with it.
I will always want what's best for you.
I wish you the very best in everything. I hope you find true happiness and all of your dreams come true and you make your mark on the world.
I couldn't forget our friendship, even if I wanted to.
You're constantly on my Timehop, and I'm constantly reminded of you when certain songs play on the radio, or when I go to Starbucks, or when I look through my pictures. And I'm fine with that. I would never want to forget our memories and what we experienced together.
You're not the same person you were when this friendship began.
Obviously. And neither am I. But that's the person I fell in love with. That girl was my soulmate, and I don't know where she went but she's not you anymore.
This friendship ended for a reason.
Multiple reasons, actually. But I will always care about you and I will always be here for you, even if we haven't talked in years.
Take care of yourself.
xoxo,
your ex-best friend
