This morning on the radio, I heard the dreaded term, “gay best friend.”
I vented about this to my girlfriend for a few minutes and thought I could also vent to you. Why do we label best friends by a trait they happen to have? Your gay best friend is your best friend. Your black best friend is your best friend. Your guy best friend is, you guessed it, your best friend. So, why do we do this? We are all guilty of it at some point in our lives.
I suppose I understand this phenomenon. Our culture loves labels; it loves separating people, sometimes for good and sometimes as an insult. Maybe we are scared of being accused of relating to a certain trait that is viewed as problematic of your best friend. Maybe we just want to put people in boxes to make things easier for everyone. I personally like labeling myself. I like to identify as a lesbian, or as a student, as a barista or whatever relates to a topic in question. I like that for myself, but I can't make labels for others. It makes me feel understood since I took so long to figure myself out. However, the bottom line is, labeling your best friends by a trait can be viewed as offensive.
These labels come with stereotypes. You think your “gay best friend” wants to go shopping with you and you think you'll never fall in love with your “guy best friend," or whatever. Don't put people in a box. Be supportive of what they want and ask if they're uncomfortable with being called “your ___ best friend”. If not, fine. I'm not always right and I can only speak for myself.
Just let it go. Stop thinking you'll be judged for being with someone who is gay or black or whatever they may be. Love your best friend regardless of who they are. Don't continuously say “no homo” because you're a guy and your best friend is a guy and you like to be together. Homosexuality is not a disease and it is not contagious. I digress.
Just be aware. Talk to your friends. Avoid stereotypes. Be nice. Be accepting. Be a good friend. Make sure your friends feel loved and understood as I'm sure you do; that's why you're friends. Just make sure you figure out your “love language” for your platonic relationship and keep an open mind with them.
