On August 15, 2014, it was move-in day. My mom and I drove down to college, the car packed full, mostly of things I never really used, singing along to the "Legally Blonde" soundtrack and eating doughnuts from that one shop we’d always meant to go to but never did before that day.

I was so nervous, had no idea what to expect, and had the highest expectations in the world. Everyone always tells you that college is the best 4 years of your life, and I believed them.

But that isn’t so.

College is for learning, not just academic, but about yourself, people, the world around you and just what it is you expect from everything.

I’ve learned that some people make your heart pound with excitement and honey drips from their lips, but you’re the only one putting effort into those relationships, and somehow, whenever you leave them, you just feel like absolute shit and can’t explain why. And that you need to let those people go.

You deserve people who give a shit about you, who won’t take advantage.

Some people instantly draw you in; they’re all charisma and kindness. Until you disagree on something. Then, they’re fangs and claws, tearing you down, and you're left breathless on the floor, close to tears, and wondering how someone can be so closed-minded and cold and laugh as they slash you with their words.

Disagreement is natural; it’s only human. But there is a difference between disagreeing on something and healthy debates, and disagreeing on something and someone refusing to hear the other side and scoffing at you for thinking differently than they do. Those are often the same people who make facebook posts about “why can’t we all just get along, and not laugh at people for having a different opinion?” Because it’s only not okay to scoff at different opinions when the opinion being scoffed at is their own.

I learned to stay away from people like that, and also, how very important it is to base all my opinions on cold, hard facts, even if the people I talk to won’t bother to listen. Because there are some people who I won’t agree with at all, but we’ll be able to agree to disagree and learn from each other. And those people, I’ll be able to go to the movies, to parties, to lunch, to study sessions with, because different opinions do not mean you can’t be friends. And we’ll get into debates, quite often, but never are feelings hurt, because damn, do we respect each other, and we both walk away with more understanding, if not agreement. Those people, I hang onto.

I learned things about myself, how shitty of a friend I can be, and damn, does shit blow up in my face. But ultimately, I'm the better for it, and I’ve resolved to change those things about myself. I need to stop making every conversation about me, I need to listen when others talk, I need to stop taking things so seriously. I can’t stand people up, I can’t spend all my time in my room and then whine about how I have no social life. It’s give and take. Mutual. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum now, and I’ve resolved to try to ensure all my friendships are healthy from now on, that I'm trying just as much as they are.

I learned that friends are not made through isolation; that if I want to talk to somebody, just fucking talk to them, and if it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. If it does, that’s fine too. But you have to be more proactive about making friends if you want more of them.

I learned how to handle aggressive drunks who block me on my way out from the party and try to feel me up, block me into a corner. I’ve gotten awful good at sidestepping grabbing hands and putting people in their places while making them feel like they’re the ones in control. Movie nights with guys tend to mean leaving their apartments not half an hour later because they won’t keep their hands off of me, and when I tell them to stop, they try to talk me into doing things I don’t want to. Such is the world we live in.

I learned that if I want something, just to fucking go for it. You only regret the chances you never had the guts to pursue and let go as quickly as they’d came. Try that weird new drink, go to the wind caves, audition for the play, even if it makes you so nervous that you feel like you’ll be physically sick. You’ll come out the stronger and more confident for it, and who cares if you did it alone? You did it. You won’t regret that. It’s okay to do things alone, it doesn’t make you lame. And you’ll never meet people who do what you like to do if you never do what you like because no one you know does it. Don’t let your life be a series of “Oh, I wanted to go do this, but never got around to it”s.

You only ever regret the chances you don’t take, so give it your all for every one. And if things don’t work out, and you’re not able to pursue one for whatever reason, that’s okay too. So long as you tried.

I learned not to let people try to talk me out of my passions because all the fields my interests lie in are super competitive. Don't let small-minded people try to talk you out of your big goals.

The worst thing in the world is to not try for something you want.

I learned that you don’t have to just be great at one thing. You can be great at lots of things. It’s fun to be a walking contradiction, as a friend of mine once said.

It’s so fucking cliché, but I learned how important it is to know who you are, and to own that. People can see right through you when you’re pretending in college. You come to gain confidence in yourself and stop being so scared of trying something new. You learn how important it is to be kind, even when your day is absolute shit. You learn to stop being so quiet and to stand up for what you think is right. It’s okay to be blunt. It’s okay to eat an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting because you feel like it.

I learned just what it is I need from life – constant stimulation and movement, I can’t stand being in one place, doing the same thing day after day – and have learned how to adjust my lifestyle to suit that. And my god, if you don’t know how to deal with your life, get outside, spend time with animals. It won’t fix things, but it’ll calm you and clear your mind so you can figure things out.

I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve also come a long way.

College won’t be the best four years of your life, but it is quite something.