There are three things I like about college. I can miss class without facing a penalty, there are plenty of wonderful places to eat, and professors are, on occasion, willing to give students some leeway on botched exams and late assignments. The things I don’t like about college, however, make for a very long list. I began my journey of higher education knowing nearly no one and I left this year having made just a handful of acquaintances. While I’m still very close to all my high school friends, I couldn’t help but feel like I’ve become a total loner. Not living on campus and struggling to get involved made it hard to get close to new people and that made for a pretty miserable social life and a pretty sad view on college.

While the loneliness and isolation often made me feel sullen, I saw myself grow as a result. Since my social life wasn’t exactly flourishing, I was more inclined to try new things because hey, there’s nothing to lose. During this first year, I was given two internships, ran for student government, and — this one’s pretty crazy — -participated in class as often as I could. Each of these attempts to branch out didn’t always go so well. The first internship I was accepted into turned out to be a pyramid scheme. After the initial disappointment wore off, I realized that I’ll be OK with or without the internship, and I left the position feeling pretty okay about myself. A few months later I got another, much less suspicious internship. Next, I ran for student government. I spent a tiring month campaigning and interacting with other students in an effort to help my platform stand out. For a fairly shy person, I did a nice job of socializing for so long. I didn’t win the position I was running for but, out of five people, I was runner up. For the freshman who’s pretty unknown, I didn’t do so badly, right? Finally, a lesson that I think will benefit any student. No matter how many times I answered a question incorrectly in class, I got over the embarrassment and continued to raise my hand when I could. I didn’t let the fear of making a mistake influence my ability to learn and ask questions and no one else should let that fear stand in their way either. While I didn’t completely jump out of my comfort zone, I let myself try new things and get used to the disappointment of failure. Once I stopped being so afraid of failure, I was able to use each slip-up to gain some insight for the future.

My first year of college wasn’t much fun. I felt lonely without an instant set of friends at school. I felt jealous of all my old high school friends who looked like they were having the time of their lives. I didn’t get to attend any wild parties or befriend a throng of interesting people at school. Nevertheless, it was my dissatisfaction that drove me to try new things and it was my failures that made me feel a little less afraid of being on my own. I’m definitely not the only person who had a less than ideal first year of college but hey, it’s the struggles we go through that allow us to learn and grow. Those moments of self-growth and realization are worth far more than a couple fun weekends and party invites.