The year was 2014. I was taking my second semester of French I with Miss Mickelson, and there was a boy in my class that I found particularly attractive. My friends and I referred to him as "Peter Parker," because he reminded me of Andrew Garfield from The Amazing Spider-Man. He was literally a ballerina - is there a boy word for that? He was in a ballet in Chicago that he left school early for every day. So yeah, basically the ideal man.

I decided it was time to unleash my feminine charm on him. My only concern was that he would fall too deeply in love with me, so I went with a "subtle" approach. Aside from texting him literally every day (with very little response) I thought I would baffle him with my intelligence. I was a big fan of National Geographic at the time. It was the March 2014 edition titled "The Truth About Black Holes". All I had to do was wait for it to come up naturally in the conversation.

...Honestly, what was I thinking.

One day, I was texting him (with very little response), and upon receiving no answer, I asked a question that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Do you wanna hear a fact about black holes?"

He was polite enough, but at this point it became very clear that he was not interested in me or my facts, and he cared even less about black holes.

Sadly to say, things did not work out with us. However, this story has an upside: I tricked my current boyfriend into falling for me by lending him the very article that led to "Do you wanna hear a fact about black holes?". So I guess the moral of the story is 50% of the time, it works every time.