Now that my last finals week of my Freshman year is approaching, I think it’s finally time to talk about the year, as a whole. I want to talk about the goods and bads of the year so that incoming Freshmen know it’s not horrible but it’s also not all sunshine and rainbows. I understand that everyone’s experiences will be different from my own but maybe this will give some insight.
First of all, I am attending the University of Southern Maine which is a wonderful starting school but I won’t be the first kid to say that I didn’t intend to be here. I will admit that I wasn’t that big of a fan at first but slowly got used to this new environment. The people here are kind, the atmosphere of the campus is calming, and there is always someone to help you if you need it. It’s not a party school and I like that. Even though this is the case, there are still parties, drinking, pot, other drugs like any other school but it’s not always the talk of each day or considered normal.
Secondly, some people get bad roommates and some people get good roommates. The experience of a bad roommate doesn’t happen to everyone but I can tell you, it happened to me. When I first arrived at the University of Southern Maine my original roommate was nowhere to be found. She never arrived. I remember I kept asking my RA if this was normal or if she’d ever show up because I’m the type of person who enjoys company. To say the least, I was alone in my room for about a month and that doesn’t seem bad but nobody wants to feel alone their first time away from home. I was the only girl, in the beginning, without a roommate, a companion, and I didn’t have much confidence. The only way I made friends was because I knocked on a cracked open door and asked another resident if they had nail polish remover. You have to get out there to make friends; they don’t just come to you.
After I had acquired my friend group, a terrible event happened to me (which I will not go into detail about) but the university never contacted me about getting a new roommate. This ultimately through me off because I was emotional and not ready to deal with yet another problem. This is the time I got a bad roommate. She was a junior, I think. We never talked much but she was scary, intimidating in fact. She always smelled like pot, was always angry, always left the door open, made me feel uncomfortable, and yelled at me. I thank my RA for being there. She truly understood my situation and the roommate didn’t even want to be there. In the end, she moved to fourth floor and I was alone again, until second semester.
Thirdly, I found having a friend group helped with the process of it all. My friend group started small but we worked well together. The girl that let me barrow her nail polish remover was my first friend. She lived one door down and on the other side of the hall. She was alone at first too but her roommate was moving in another day and had previous contact. This girl was what initially started our friend group because she connected us with the two girls in the room next to me, her roommate, and some of her roommate’s friends. Although that sounds like a big group, it only came down to the four of us most of the time. It was nice having people to talk to, go to dinner with, and just have fun with. One of these girls became very close with me and I confided in her a lot of the time.
With this being said, I considered this one girl in our friend group to be my best friend at college. She understood basically everything in my life because her life applied to something similar. She got the gist of it all. Since we had this mutual understanding, there was a lot of times when we confided in each other and that was great until she ultimately decided to move upstairs. Our friendship deteriorated to nothing. I now see her rarely, whether she’s walking to class, back from class, or she’s hanging out with her new posy of friends. Sometimes I feel like I was abandoned due to the fact that she’s still friends with the girl I borrowed nail polish remover from.
To be honest, I think her move to the third floor and the fight she had with her roommate was what initially caused our friend group to fall apart. The girl I borrowed nail polish remover from doesn’t talk to me that often either. I still go to lunch every Monday with the girl who lives next door, even though my best friend (her old roommate) lives upstairs. But from the struggle of it all, I acquired a new, amazing, wonderful friend. This is the encounter of a good roommate.
Although there were many struggles, fights, and problems up to the point of second semester, I was greeted by my new roommate and the best roommate anyone could ask for. She also understood a lot of what I had gone through and it’s always nice to have someone that understands. She’s sweet, kind, caring, loving, just a ray of sunshine. She introduced me to a few new people which went their ways in good or bad. But all I can tell you is if you find this roommate, someone who understands you, makes you feel good about yourself, keep her. In fact, we plan on living together next year, our junior year we’re both going to apply to be RAs, and if we don’t get the job we will be living together again.
Lastly, I know I haven’t mentioned anything about classes at the University of Southern Maine but I don’t think I need to. The classes are what they would be at any college. Yes, they’re hard and yes, you’ll find professors that you won’t like but it’s all a learning experience. I found that even though my core curriculum was hard that I was okay because I had friends to support me, or rather a friend. Plus, the university (along with many others) offer tutoring of some sorts if you need help or the professor will have office hours. You just need to believe in yourself and not be afraid to get help.
Considering all of this year, I’d say it has success within it. It was hard, difficult, made me sad at times but I was able to get through it all and prosper. I have become more of an adult because of it and I know I’ll be able to get through my next few years of college here. It comes down to believing in yourself, providing yourself with help you need, and being able to emotionally release anything that might block your way. There will be times you feel lonely, but they won’t affect you forever. Just keep reminding yourself why you’re there, what you want from life, and how you’re going to do it, pure will and determination.
