The quote "if nothing ever changed, there would be no such thing as butterflies" captures the process of becoming. I started as a tiny caterpillar, munching on the facts of life at my leisure, with little to no regard. I waltzed around with my head held high, all legs on board, thriving off the world around me. I was not concerned with what people thought of my small, fuzzy body. I understood the concept that one day I was going to be this beautiful butterfly, turning heads with my vibrant wings, and hypnotizing the other creatures they swept over. As a caterpillar, I did not understand the concept of my over consumption; the way my actions could affect so much.

I started my construction of the silky chrysalis at the beginning of middle school, when I took notice of my appearance and felt as if I had to conform to the ways of society. I noticed the extent of my fuzziness. The form of my body, often feeling like the embodiment of a slug. This is when I lost sight of the light that showed me who I was going to be in the future. I embedded myself into a cocoon; scared of the world around me. What were people going to think of me: fat, ugly, incompetent, stupid? How should I act? What if I do not do what they want me to do — will they still accept me? I was captivated by the darkness. It surrounded every inch of my little being. I was trapped and pondering the worth of being.

For a while, I lost sight of the fact that I was growing and all I could see was my differences that were emerging from others: different body, different shape, different amount of fuzziness. So, instead of being the butterfly, I desired to be a moth. After all, you have two choices: butterfly or moth. I wanted to contain my colors, to blend in, to go unnoticed. I wanted other people to take the risk of being a butterfly. It is risky to be so ostentatious, so openly different, especially in our adolescent years. Why can't someone else be the one to stand out? Why does it have to be me? I assured myself I would be so much safer with continuing my life in the realm of the camouflaged. I had it all planned out. I was going to live my life in the shadows, thriving off the success of others, creating nothing for myself on my own. It seemed every day that the inside kept getting gradually darker, and I kept getting smaller, rather than filling out the space I was in. I was lonely and trapped.

At the beginning of my eleventh-grade year, and as I got into the later stages of my metamorphosis, I began to see thin beams of light breaking through. The brightness gave me a taste of the life I could live, and I began to understand the importance of being different and the way that differences empower the world and makes all of us unique. For so long, I was stuck, and thought that I was stagnant. I was never going to escape the shell I was in; stay in my protective casing forever. The light showed me the value of not concerning myself with the thoughts of others and I vowed to continue on my long journey of becoming the butterfly I have always been meant to be.

I have not yet fully grown my wings­— let alone spread them. I am for certain that when they do arrive however, every pattern will differentiate me from the rest. Each particular shape will represent something about me. I know that the colors will epitomize the vibrancy of my personality, and I strive to have the brightest colors of them all. I want to spread my wings over all the flowers and have an effect on them. I want to dance. I want to be the kindest most, giving creature, while not drawing the life out of others. I will be delicate and prance around the greenery. I will not go unnoticed. My wings will flutter through the air; the bold outlines bring the consolidating question of how can I be the best version of me? I desire to inspire every creepy crawler in the vast array of life, because I choose to be different.

As a butterfly, I will do more than paint a pretty picture. Pollenating the flowers that I visit, weeding out those that have a transverse effect in the garden. The hardest part that I began to reconcile when I saw the light peaking through the cocoon was that everyone is going through some sort of process within their life or another, because change is inevitable; it is a part of life.

From caterpillar, to cocoon, to the growth of my wings, I am thriving in the process of becoming.