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17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

At the end of the day fries will always be the only kind of companion you will ever need.

Lexi Link

Sep 02, 2018

The University of Alabama

231

17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

SAS-ASMR / YouTube

We have all had one of those heartbreaks where we just find ourselves eating our feelings in food. Which probably is not the best thing in the world for us but we can't help it. But at the end of the day, that food never left us and won't ever break your heart. So, here are 17 reasons why fries (or any food, really) is better than any boy and why they happen to make the best boyfriend anyone could need.

They're always there for you

24/7, 365 days there are always french fries!

They won't break your heart

Had a bad day? Your french fries won't judge.

They aren't mean to you

Food is more than love... it is life.

And they'll never lie to you

Do I need to say more?

They're all yours so you don't have to worry about cheating

Hands off! I deserve this after everything I have been through.

They'll always be there to comfort you

I'm just going to mind my own business and bathe in a tub of fries.

You can try various flavors and no one will get mad

You get to feel like Oprah. One for you in any flavor and size!

If you order them at 1 a.m., they won't get the wrong idea

Can't judge a girl when she's just straight up hungry.

They only produce food babies, no actual babies

I rather stick to a food baby than anything especially at this point in my life!

You don't have to shave

Like I said, food doesn't judge you. Yes, I would like to eat in my sweatpants and makeup running down my face from last night so what?

You can obsess over them and have it not be weird

I think about food 24/7 and if you day you don't then you are lying!

There's an unlimited supply

Unlimited food for one price... heck yeah!

You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want

French fries > everything.

They don't care what you wear

Yes, I will wear mismatched socks and an old wrinkled shirt.

They don't have a phone so you can't be ghosted

Food has your back no matter what happened.

They embrace your flaws

I will be the one standing there with my friends as they judge how many french fries I can fit in my mouth. A new version of Chubby Bunny!

They love you unconditionally

Food forever and always!

Dig in!

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17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

At the end of the day fries will always be the only kind of companion you will ever need.

In This Article:

They're always there for you

They won't break your heart

They aren't mean to you

And they'll never lie to you

They're all yours so you don't have to worry about cheating

They'll always be there to comfort you

You can try various flavors and no one will get mad

If you order them at 1 a.m., they won't get the wrong idea

They only produce food babies, no actual babies

You don't have to shave

You can obsess over them and have it not be weird

There's an unlimited supply

You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want

They don't care what you wear

They don't have a phone so you can't be ghosted

They embrace your flaws

They love you unconditionally

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Make yourself at home, why don't you?

You come home and they're already in your room.

They help themselves to all your food.

Your clothes are their clothes.

They've requested their own space in your closet.

People are shocked when they find out you're not roommates.

They've added their name to your door.

Sometimes they sleep in your bed even though they have their own.

They never knock.

They leave their miscellaneous items all over your room while you and your actual roommate wonder who's stuff it is...

Sometimes they follow you into the bathroom while you shower so they can talk to you.

No matter how much they're in your space, you wouldn't have it any other way.

She may not be with you 24/7 but it's all good because you're soul sisters.

Her friends will become your friends.

You get to see how your best friend acts around other people.

You'll feel like a proud mom.

She'll ask your opinion.

She'll send snaps of you to them.

Your social calendar will become a little more crowded.

You get to see her genuinely happy.

The time y'all spend together will be even more special.

She'll always have a story to tell you.

You know she will always love you.

Helpful Advice to Get You Through the Semester

Schedule, Schedule, Schedule

Plan Time with Friends

Talk to Your Professors

Take Care of Yourself

How do You Eat an Elephant?

Keep an Eye on your School's Social Media or Calendar

Talk with your Adviser

Get Some Sleep

Talk with your Career Center

Eat Your Vegetables

Get Some Fresh Air

. Cringey Tinder stories from some Tinder girls

Toilet Troubles

Buckaroo

"Wing Woman"

The Overeager Matcher

Taco Bell Drive Thru

Coffin Factory

The Teacher's Assistant

The Relatable Date

Don't deny it.

They talk to you like you're one of the guys, but you will NEVER EVER be included in "Bro" things

Even though you've heard the words, "Not you, a real girl" more times than you can count.

You need to caption almost every picture with a disclaimer that you aren't dating...

But at the same time, you never know whether or not to be offended when they say they'd never date you...

And your other friends are constantly telling you you were destined to be with each other.

You'd get all the girls if you were a boy because you walk them through how to get girls almost daily...

That being said, you have an opinion on EVERY girl they show you, and you aren't afraid to share it...

But they have opinions too, and that's why they'll be the first to tell you when a guy isn't treating you right... and then they'll do exactly the same thing to some girl a few days later...

And if they do happen to have a girl in their lives, she most likely hates you, because you know him better than she ever will...

But even after all that, you wouldn't trade them for the world.

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