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17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

At the end of the day fries will always be the only kind of companion you will ever need.

Lexi Link

Sep 02, 2018

The University of Alabama

229

17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

SAS-ASMR / YouTube

We have all had one of those heartbreaks where we just find ourselves eating our feelings in food. Which probably is not the best thing in the world for us but we can't help it. But at the end of the day, that food never left us and won't ever break your heart. So, here are 17 reasons why fries (or any food, really) is better than any boy and why they happen to make the best boyfriend anyone could need.

They're always there for you

24/7, 365 days there are always french fries!

They won't break your heart

Had a bad day? Your french fries won't judge.

They aren't mean to you

Food is more than love... it is life.

And they'll never lie to you

Do I need to say more?

They're all yours so you don't have to worry about cheating

Hands off! I deserve this after everything I have been through.

They'll always be there to comfort you

I'm just going to mind my own business and bathe in a tub of fries.

You can try various flavors and no one will get mad

You get to feel like Oprah. One for you in any flavor and size!

If you order them at 1 a.m., they won't get the wrong idea

Can't judge a girl when she's just straight up hungry.

They only produce food babies, no actual babies

I rather stick to a food baby than anything especially at this point in my life!

You don't have to shave

Like I said, food doesn't judge you. Yes, I would like to eat in my sweatpants and makeup running down my face from last night so what?

You can obsess over them and have it not be weird

I think about food 24/7 and if you day you don't then you are lying!

There's an unlimited supply

Unlimited food for one price... heck yeah!

You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want

French fries > everything.

They don't care what you wear

Yes, I will wear mismatched socks and an old wrinkled shirt.

They don't have a phone so you can't be ghosted

Food has your back no matter what happened.

They embrace your flaws

I will be the one standing there with my friends as they judge how many french fries I can fit in my mouth. A new version of Chubby Bunny!

They love you unconditionally

Food forever and always!

Dig in!

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17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

At the end of the day fries will always be the only kind of companion you will ever need.

They're always there for you

They won't break your heart

They aren't mean to you

And they'll never lie to you

They're all yours so you don't have to worry about cheating

They'll always be there to comfort you

You can try various flavors and no one will get mad

If you order them at 1 a.m., they won't get the wrong idea

They only produce food babies, no actual babies

You don't have to shave

You can obsess over them and have it not be weird

There's an unlimited supply

You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want

They don't care what you wear

They don't have a phone so you can't be ghosted

They embrace your flaws

They love you unconditionally

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"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

'tis the season to be jolly!

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

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