In the last couple of weeks my life has kind of been one catastrophe after the other. From fighting with my parents almost constantly to an unimaginable feeling of emptiness after my most recent personal loss. I've been hit by one thing after another and it started to affect the way I live my life.
I was hanging out with my friends less, going to class less, doing homework less, and sleeping all of the time. I felt guilty for living and enjoying my life when everything around me was dying away or falling apart. I kind of turned into a ball of self pity and tears. Due to my anxiety I was perfectly contented with ignoring the world and eliminating more things for me to lose my sh*t over.
But the problem was, there was still plenty of things on my mind. School, work, losing something I didn't even know I had, among other things. My life was being ruled by my unwillingness to buck up and handle my problems. By avoiding everything I was only causing myself more and more trouble.
Then one morning I woke up and decided, I am not going to let this stuff run my life any more. I know, it sounds simple, and that's because it was. I got tired of being an empty shell of a person that wandered through life avoiding anything that could cause me strife. I wanted to be happy and work hard. So I made up my mind and that was exactly what I was going to do.
I started eating better, facing my problems head on, and stopped throwing a pity party every time something bad happened. I stopped feeling guilty for living and started celebrating the fact that I am alive. I changed my thoughts and therefore changed my own life.
Is it hard sometimes? Absolutely. When it feels like nothing is going right it's hard to look up at the sky and be thankful for the day. But I do it anyway. It's all about acknowledging and accepting the bad, but realizing that there's so many more good things to out weigh it. The positive thoughts alone can change your entire out look on life.
Since I changed my thoughts and actions, things have been easier to handle. I have gotten a better grip on life and things actually started to go my way. My relationships have improved, my school work has improved, and I as a person have improved. It's amazing the things that can happen when you change your thought process.
