According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the term liberate means to free from domination by a foreign power.

Who doesn’t like free? Free food, free wi-fi, free-dom; I don’t know about you, but I’m a fan of free. However, somehow, someway there always seems to be a catch. So, as you could imagine there is definitely a catch (or two, or seven) when it comes to self liberation.

The term self liberation can be described as the process of freeing oneself from anything and anyone who is hindering your growth process (this sometimes includes yourself.) It is the act of taking control of your thoughts, feelings and emotions, by liberating yourself from the control of toxic external and even internal forces.

Because we are all so different, we can’t expect to take the same exact paths to liberation. What works for one person may not necessarily work for another. However, it doesn’t hurt to share tips, tricks and “hacks” in order to provide perspective for others that may help them throughout their journey.

As with most other paths to recovery, the first step is admitting. Admit that you’re not perfect and that you have room for improvement. One of the most important tips I can offer is to keep it real with yourself. Forget keeping it real with others for a second. You owe it to yourself to be honest about your flaws, shortcomings, mistakes, all of it. At the same time, don’t forget about all of your strengths, and positive attributes that enhance your character as well. Even if the bad outweighs the good, and even if the good seems miniscule, acknowledge it.

If you can’t keep it real with yourself how can you expect to keep it real with anyone else? For me, this was one of the most challenging parts at times. Mostly because I was too concerned about hurting people's feelings. I didn’t want to offend anyone or make them uncomfortable. But I had to ask myself, “what’s more important, their feelings or your growth?” I had to realize that anyone who took offence to me wanting to better myself and find balance probably wasn’t anyone I needed around me anyway.

I had to start being real with myself about how I was spending my time and energy, and who I was spending it on/with as well. I adopted the phrase “if it ain’t about growth, it’s gotta go.” I applied this to every aspect of my life. I couldn’t afford to keep wasting time on things that were not helping me grow. Anything that stunted my journey to self liberation had to go, straight like that. Activities, relationships, thoughts, whatever. This included people who weren’t trying to grow as well.

Which leads me to my next tip. Surround yourself with individuals who are also trying to better themselves. People who are going to keep it real with you, encourage, motivate, love and support you throughout the process. Good/positive vibes only. If your homies only wanna turn up, you may need to separate yourself.

Another trick I’ve learned is that it is essential to find solace in solitude. Become your own best friend. Fall in love with yourself. You’re unique and unparalleled. Ain’t nobody else like you in the whole entire universe. You different. You special. Find peace in knowing this. Yeah, sometimes it may get lonely, but your peace of mind throughout this process is a priority.

Use this sacred alone time to pray, or meditate. Do something that is going to help you clear your mind. Something that is going to promote peace and balance. Get you some crystals, burn you some sage. Play some relaxing music, set the mood for yourself. Chant some positive mantras/ affirmations. “I am beautiful,” “I am strong,” “I am resourceful,” even when you don’t necessarily feel it. Speak it into existence. Say it until you feel it, it might take a while, but be persistent.

It would be nice if someone could hand us the answers, or the key to unlock our inner peace, the key to liberate ourselves. There have been times in my life where I’ve just felt stuck. Stuck in my situation, stuck in my negative way of thinking, just stuck. Uncertain of what to do next in order to progress. I’ve wasted entirely too much time feeling sorry for myself, waiting for the answer to appear through some external source. I’ve looked for the answer at parties/clubs, in unhealthy habits and relationships, almost everywhere but within.

I don’t recall exactly how, but one day it hit me. The answer to my problems, the secret to truly liberating myself was inside of me. I had to tap in, reach deep inside myself and uncover it. If I found the source of my liberation within I would be the only one to have control over it. If I “found” it elsewhere I’d always need rely on an outside source.

However, while reaching I also found some stuff that I’d suppressed, ignored and quite frankly avoided. At first I was afraid. I didn’t want to deal with those things that haunted me. But they weren’t going anywhere without me dealing with them.

Everyday I swear I find something new. A flaw, an imperfection, a weakness that sometimes seems like the end of the world. A mistake so shameful that I almost let it sidetrack me from my journey. It’s not easy, but in order to truly grow and evolve it is extremely important that we don’t let these things stop us from reaching our full potential. No matter how old or ugly it may be, I encourage you to deal with your junk.

I would be lying if I said that I was completely liberated. I believe that the journey to self liberation is ongoing. My friends in college used to get sick of me saying that I would never be “grown”, and that I will always be growing, but it’s true. Accept the fact that you’ll never know it all, that you’ll never have all of the answers, that no matter how old you are, you will never stop growing. Once you accept this, the journey will make a lot more sense. Life is our classroom, each day I wake up I think to myself, “I wonder what I’ll learn today.” I encourage you to dig deep. It may be uncomfortable or even frightening, but you’re worth it. Tap on that inner light and shine.

I want to say a very special thank you to any and everyone who has put me on to any of the tricks tips and hacks that I’ve shared with you. Y’all are truly the best. I wish all of you a healthy and prosperous journey to self liberation.

Peace.