The history as to why I joined a fraternity is a long one. Galina "Red" Reznikov once said in "Orange Is The New Black" that people's loyalty means nothing. I learned that the hard way. By the time the fall semester of my freshman year was ending, my so-called friends started to be meaner than usual. They started to exclude me from activities -- not caring about what I wanted, and making fun of certain aspects of my life. I got sick of it. Until at some point a guy just handed me over a flier. He looked like a tree. Perhaps that’s why he’s called Stretch. Stretch -- if you read this -- I love you, Brother. I didn't know his name at the time; I couldn't ask him. I was afraid of my stutter. It was about some frat. I honestly did not care.

As time passed, I started to see this fraternity get more involve in campus. They were persuasive, which is why I added the fraternity to the list of things I could join. Eventually, winter break came, and all I had in my mind were the possible extracurricular activities I could be a part of. It was a tie between the Hispanic club, the drama club, and the fraternity. At last came the spring semester, which meant one thing: rush. And rush. And more rush. Boy, they were relentless.

For those who don't know, rush is the part of the semester where a Greek letter organization tries to persuade you to pledge. They do this by making events where you learn about the organization. At the Meet the Greeks event held by the school, I saw a girl, one I thought I had an opportunity to go out with, signing up to join a sorority. We had a sociology class together and I thought she was hot, but whatever. The point is I joined the fraternity too! I think she knows I am talking about her, so if you notice this, thank you! Anyway, as soon as that happened, that's when my "friends" started to tell me what they think. I needed a lot of patience.

1. So you are in a frat. What's that about?

First of all, if you say the word, "Frat," in front of me, nothing bad is going to happen to you. Let's face it: I am too lazy to retaliate. My fraternity brothers, on the other hand, may kill you; they may or may not have ways of making your body disappear. Frat is a derogatory term; it's a reference to the negative stereotypes associated with Greek life. So please watch that tongue. Second of all, joining a fraternity means becoming part of a brotherhood with a group of men both locally and nationally. If you need more than that to understand our concept of brotherly love and why we think is normal to playfully roast each other while making memes out of each other, there's nothing I can do to help you.

2. What do you do there?

OK. This is where I kill you, GDIs. Not all fraternities have the same aspect, but it is a well-known fact that most fraternities are social. What does that mean? Our events revolve around our community. It's not just parties, people. We make philanthropic and academic events that are meant to enhance the personality of our current and future members. So we are awesome.

3. Why do you do recruitment?

(Face palm.) We believe that membership goes beyond our four years of college. Trivial enough, at some point we are all going to face the cold bullet of adulthood, graduate, and not be as active as our undergraduate counterparts. So, we need to bring in a new group every semester to replace us. It's not like we are vampires and we can stay forever young by sucking the lives and energy of people. Next question.

4. When do you ascend?

(Cricket noises.) When a friend asked me this question, I honestly thought he was kidding. The reason why I think he asked it is because when a new group of pledges become brothers they are called a Class, and each Class is named after a Greek letter, depending on the order. For example, the first group of pledges to every become brothers from a chapter are called the Alpha Class, whereas the second is called the Beta Class. This is not a business so we don't get promotions. I am a member of a Beta Class. For the love of Jesus, stop asking this!

5. Is it like the movies?

And we are back with the stereotypes. If what you are implying is that we stand in a circle naked waiting to be paddle, then the answer is no. People are also surprise when they hear that they don't make us drink. I don't know why. It is strictly mandatory for the pledging process to be a dry period. In other words, if a national officer finds out that pledges are drinking, the chapter of might get shut down. That's no bueno. And if my chapter gets shut down, hell breaks loose, so stop asking stupid questions.Does hazing really happen? Honestly, yes. The dark side of Greek life exists due to some organizations being terrible people. Mine doesn't condone it; that has to be said.

6. It's a cult, isn't it?

Jesus, no. It is not a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object. We love each other? Yes. Do we say prayers to pagan entities? No.

7. What’s with the big/little bro obsessions? Don’t you have friends on your own?

Shut up. It is not an obsession. We just happen to have the best relationship ever, better than you and those classmates you call friends. This is where I break your bubble: They are not your friends, at least not all of them. You go to class, you see them. You go home, you don’t see them until the next day. Am I making you feel bad for suggesting I don’t have friends? Good. Let the guilt trip begin!

8. What's the point?

This is the most valid of all questions, so pay attention:

• Greek life helps you give back to your community.
• The events being held by the national fraternity makes networking even easier.
• You may find the first solid group of friends in your life. Not everyone you meet in a classroom is going to become your best friend; I should know.
• You will graduate on time. It sounds stupid, but most of the people who are in a fraternity or sorority suffer a small pressure to do well in their classes, otherwise they are under supervision of the dean and the fraternity. In other words, we do it because we care about you. We are smart.
• It looks awesome in your resume, especially when an employer finds out that you two are actually in the same fraternity, or sorority. Often, people in fraternities get the chance of getting leadership roles such as president, secretary, pledge master, etc. People like that; people like seeing that you can handle being reliable while under pressure.
• Scholarships, people. We are college students. It is in our nature to be broke, so having perks include receiving significant amounts of money for tuition. You know, that thing that goes up every year while Financial Aid stays the same? Take the hint.

9. You pay for your friends.

Psychopath mode, activated. This is not a question, but I’ve heard it way too many times. So let’s have fun with it. My college had an event to actually deduced how much we “paid for our friends.” Six cents, we payed six cents. And it is with all of my love for my brothers and friends I made on Greek Life to say that yes, we invest in our friends. We invest time and commitment, you jerk. We pay our dues. That money we use for philanthropic events? Dues. Rush? Dues. Those parties you enjoy so much? Dues. Our freaking budget? Guess what: Dues. So no, I don’t pay for friends. I have a famiglia that is way less judgmental and way kinder than all of you. And, yes, the shade you just experienced was real.

10. Did you write this to recruit guys for next semester?

Yes. Absolutely. No shame. I am glad you all got the idea. So, whatever college you happen to go to, Rush Alpha Phi Delta. Spring, or fall. Anytime. No chapter? Make your own colony, establish a legacy, and become a legend.