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Four Ways To Avoid The Real World

Jul 25, 2014

For those that graduated this past May, some of you still might be doing this...

If there’s one thing college kids hate to think about, it’s the real world. Life after college should be the dream, the end goal and the epitome of our studies but, in reality, it’s reminiscent of a black hole.

The unknowingness is scary enough, but top it off with the country’s 6.7 percent unemployment rate and it really gets us scared.

There’s nothing more depressing than being asked your future plans when you have no plans and, let’s face it, the only real world we want to be thinking about is the MTV show and the only plans we have are the ones for tonight. I know college is supposed to be in the forefront of our lives and the stepping stone to our careers but, lately, I’ve been finding more and more ways to avoid the real world that everyone seems to rave about. Here are four sure fire ways to avoid the looming future...so recent grads, listen up.

1. Go to grad school. I am not saying that this will be any easier than the real world, but it will certainly help the transition from being a crazy college student to a responsible working citizen. It means taking one more standardized test, the GMAT or the GRE, but it beats a 9-5.

2. Take a trip. Travel around Europe, Asia, or wherever your heart desires, and come back with endless stories and a sense of the world. Maybe you’ll even come back with the realization that you are lucky enough to be in a country where you can even dream of getting a job.

3. Become a fifth year senior. Staying an extra year or semester at college has become the new norm. There’s nothing like taking that one extra year to realize that those past four were the best you will ever have. If you have already graduated, it is too late for this option. If you haven't, it's a great time to add on that second major or minor.

4. Get an internship. An internship is a less stressful way of being thrown into the 'real world'. The best part of any internship is the group of interns you will meet throughout that you can keep as contacts as you transition to the future. The contacts within the company also can help you land that dream job that you previously thought was out of reach.

Personally, I would opt for choice 1 through 3, but similar to my aversion for growing up, I also hate to make important life choices, so I will leave that up to you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Four Ways To Avoid The Real World

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No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

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