If you're like me, all of your life, you have heard:
"You have to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else."
Well, I'm callingbullshit.
I lived my life for years thinking that I would never be able to love someone because I didn't love myself. Then, when I did find someone who I really liked, I was terrified because I still didn't love myself. As I fell in love with him, I was so afraid that one day I would learn to love myself, and our relationship would be over.
Instead, something much better happened. As I fell in love with my boyfriend and vice versa, I began to love myself, and I would not have been able to do so if it weren't for him. Not only that, but since I have learned to love myself, our relationship has become stronger.
For a long time, I struggled with loving myself, and sometimes even liking myself, but when I met my boyfriend, he helped me get through that. It was small things, like hearing him compliment me, that grew into bigger things. When I had bad days or could see nothing in myself, he would show me that I was worth something.
As I watched him fall in love with me, all of my flaws and imperfections included, I began to see myself in a different light. He encouraged me through everything. The more I saw the absolute faith he had in me to do what I wanted, the more I saw it in myself.
He helped me learn to truly be myself, and that's when I really fell in love with me. He taught me that it is OK to be weird and silly and that you don't have to impress others. If you really are yourself, then those you want around will come to you. Now, after hating myself for so long, I can really say that I love myself.
It may not be the same for everyone, but for me, I fell in love with myself thanks to my significant other.
So the next time someone tells you that you have to love yourself first, tell them that you disagree. Stay confident, and don't worry about when you fall in love. Everything will happen when it needs to.
