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Health and Wellness

A Formal Apology To My Formal Date

I'm only apologizing once.

Marie Tasa

Apr 04, 2016

Northern Illinois University

Dear formal date,

I’m sorry I haven’t asked you to formal yet.

It’s not that I am not going to ask you. It’s just when we normally hang out, I am normally wasted, and so are you. But don’t worry, I will ask you probably the day before, so just be prepared.

Sorry I picked such a specific dress color, but make sure you find a Cyan Cobalt Blue #28989C tie.

Your tie better match my dress; otherwise, just don’t show up. I spent a lot of time finding the perfect dress and color that will make me look tan and skinny. You have one job; don’t screw it up.

Sorry for making you take a thousand pictures just so I can get the perfect one.

I need that perfect photo with great lighting because obviously part of the reason I am taking you is because we look good in photos together. Sorry, but it’s true.

I’m sorry for making you carry the team in beer pong at the pre-game.

I thought that I could keep up with you, but my aim just isn’t as good after six tequila shots, a beer bong and slapping the bag twice. Oops, my mistake.

I’m sorry for dancing on the tables with my sisters more than dancing with you.

I never promised to dance with you. It’s not that you are a bad dancer; it’s just that dancing on a table with my sisters is just so much better than dancing with any guy, sorry.

Sorry for spilling my drink on you…seven times.

Nobody is perfect, and I am apologizing in advance that I will spill my drinks pretty much as soon as you give them to me. So just make sure you are aware that you will probably leave formal with a damp shirt.

Sorry for puking in your hand on the bus ride.

I didn't plan for that to happen and your hand was in the way of where I was puking, sorry. Need a napkin?

I’m sorry I woke up and don’t remember anything.

Actually, I’m not that sorry.

XOXO

Your formal date

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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