Think about the last time you were hurt by someone. Maybe you were betrayed by someone you thought was your friend. Maybe your partner cheated on you. Maybe someone called you a derogatory name.
Regardless of what happened, you were hurt. You cried. You were angry at them. You wondered why you deserved something so terrible.
I've been hurt a lot in my life, that's for sure. As I'm sure we all have.
The last time someone hurt me terribly, I was angry. However, I could not hold an ounce of hate in my heart towards them. People told me I should hate them, but I just couldn't.
I was mad at myself for not hating them. Why could not I hate them? That was what I was supposed to do, right?
I felt weak at first for not hating the person. I couldn't believe that I had started to forgive them. I felt like my emotions were wrong.
Over time, though, I realized that I was the wrong one to even believe something was wrong with me.
You are allowed to hurt. You are allowed to cry. That doesn't mean you have to hate someone.
There's no "right" way to feel after being hurt. For me, holding grudges or hating people who hurt me only causes me more pain.
"Forgive and forget" usually does not hold true for me either. Even though I don't forget, I do try my best to forgive.
Despite how hard it can be sometimes, I have learned that forgiveness can set you free. There's nothing productive in holding a grudge towards someone. Although you may never forget what they did to you, you will forever remember the pain you have felt for the rest of your life.
My best advice is to forgive them, and forgive yourself if you need to.
If you cannot forgive them right now, that's okay. It takes time for the pain to heal. But if you want to forgive, let yourself do it. Never feel like you are weak for letting go.
Allow yourself to be set free.