"People will disrespect you, lie to you, use you, and break your heart, but no one will ever hurt you more than you hurt yourself, by replaying those transgressions in your mind forever." -Bryant McGil
It's important to note that as humans, we are not perfect and we never will be. People are going to hurt you, you are going to hurt others, and life won't always work in your favor. Knowing this ahead of time will help you in any situation you may find yourself in. With that being said, this is when forgiveness comes into play.
Forgiveness can be lived as a lifestyle in order to relieve your heart from any pain. However, finding the power to forgive can be extremely hard. Whether you're trying to forgive another person or yourself, it is challenging to be vulnerable and let go of the hurt. Often times we have adapted to the weight of the hurt so it no longer affects us on the day-to-day; are you sure deep down you aren't still hurting? Think about this.
If this answer to that question is yes, understand that it is okay. You are human, you have feelings, you have emotions; they are delicate and should be handled with care. Nonetheless, life is never perfect nor fair which is why you will be hurt, mistreated, disrespected, etc. But how can you forgive someone for hurting you so badly?
There isn't a concrete answer to that question. Forgiving is a very long, confusing, and difficult process; the only person who should set the pace for coming to terms with forgiveness is you. If someone wronged you, (or you wronged someone) it is up to the discretion of the person who has been hurt. And this process can be grueling and timely, but with patience and conscious effort, it can be achieved.
Once you have come to terms with forgiveness, a weight will be lifted off your shoulders. This isn't a "maybe" or "sometimes" because it will relieve you of the hurt you feel in your mind, heart, and soul. Forgiveness shows vulnerability and a level of maturity that not everyone is comfortable with, so take pride in your ability to forgive because grudges are so much easier to hold. That's the easy way out, poisoning the heart and soul of pain and anger; completely toxic feelings that will only continue to do damage. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is a crafted challenge; not everyone is comfortable with it because it is extremely challenging. However, ridding the heart and soul of any pain is a great reward and you will thank yourself for it.
With forgiveness, your loyalty is tested. Loyalty is obviously an admirable quality and is something that everyone looks for in relationships. When times are hard and you need help, it's good to have people around to support you through thick and thin. Moreover, this is when things could get tricky: how far are we actually willing to go with our loyalty?
Is the loyalty you have for someone paying a price? Do you feel obligated to be loyal? Is your unconditional loyalty being taken for granted? Are you being dragged through the mud because of it? These questions run through my mind some days, and I still have yet to find an answer to any of them.
Although being there for someone is a rewarding process, of course, it can start to take a toll on you because you have become such a reliance for someone. This is where the conflict comes into play: is this a good thing or a bad thing? You want to help the people you love, but if after a while you feel yourself taking a beating, is it fair to say "enough is enough"...?
It's a very touchy subject; people could claim that you "switched up" or "you've changed." But in all honesty: you can't fix anybody. Your devoted loyalty can help them along their journey and help to be apart of their growth process, but at the end of the day, it's hard to "fix" and heal someone.
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” - Bob Marley
This is where loyalty and forgiveness come hand in hand. Sometimes your loyalty will be tested, and feel like it's not enough and/or worth it. When it comes to the people we love, sometimes your unconditional loyalty will be taken for granted and abused, however, this is when the power of forgiveness saves the day. The ones we love the most could also be the ones that hurt us the most; I don't know why that is, but with forgiveness, we can bridge the gap between pain and forgiving in order to feel happy again. As humans, we have to realize that some people will be worth suffering for, and some people won't be. Once we realize that pain and hurt are inevitable, it will be much much easier to forgive and deal with the pain that comes with strong loyalty and commitment. Life is not perfect; if we accept it for what it is and ride its waves, I truly believe that everything will come together for a purpose at the end of the day.
