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Forgive, Not For Them, But For Yourself

You do not deserve to bear the burden of someone who has hurt you.

Tori Heck

Oct 01, 2018

University of Georgia

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you" - Lewis B. Smedes

When you're in your 20s, people mess up a lot. They're impulsive. They're confused. They are hurting. They are searching. They're still finding out who they are.

"I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge." - Gerald Jampolsky

I have a big heart, and sometimes this gets me burned. I open up to people quickly, get invested deeply, and trust them sooner than I probably should. I allow people into my heart and into my life. I give them a small piece of me, whether I realize it or not.

"When you forgive, you in no way change the past- but you sure do change the future." - Bernard Meltzer

Sometimes, without even knowing, I invest a lot of myself into another person, and then they walk away. They leave me hurt, confused, and standing with my heart in my hand, wondering where I went wrong.

In these situations, I have learned, it is better to rise above. Carrying a grudge toward someone that wronged you, or harboring hate in your heart hurts you more than it hurts them.

Someone once told me, holding a grudge is analogous to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die from it. They won't. In the same way, holding hate in your heart won't harm the other person, only you.

I forgive not for the person that has wronged me, to relieve their conscious or allow them to feel better, but for myself. I do not deserve to bear the burden for someone that has hurt me. You do not deserve to bear the burden for someone that has hurt you. Don't drink the poison.

I forgive for myself. I forgive others to lift the burden of hurt and hate and negativity off of my heart. I forgive so I can continue to keep being the big-hearted person I am. I forgive to make way for new relationships and for healing old ones. I forgive, not to ease the pain of the other person, but to allow for my own happiness.

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Forgive, Not For Them, But For Yourself

You do not deserve to bear the burden of someone who has hurt you.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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