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Health and Wellness

Forgive, Not For Them, But For Yourself

You do not deserve to bear the burden of someone who has hurt you.

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Forgive, Not For Them, But For Yourself
Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you" - Lewis B. Smedes

When you're in your 20s, people mess up a lot. They're impulsive. They're confused. They are hurting. They are searching. They're still finding out who they are.

"I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge." - Gerald Jampolsky

I have a big heart, and sometimes this gets me burned. I open up to people quickly, get invested deeply, and trust them sooner than I probably should. I allow people into my heart and into my life. I give them a small piece of me, whether I realize it or not.

"When you forgive, you in no way change the past- but you sure do change the future." - Bernard Meltzer

Sometimes, without even knowing, I invest a lot of myself into another person, and then they walk away. They leave me hurt, confused, and standing with my heart in my hand, wondering where I went wrong.

In these situations, I have learned, it is better to rise above. Carrying a grudge toward someone that wronged you, or harboring hate in your heart hurts you more than it hurts them.

Someone once told me, holding a grudge is analogous to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die from it. They won't. In the same way, holding hate in your heart won't harm the other person, only you.

I forgive not for the person that has wronged me, to relieve their conscious or allow them to feel better, but for myself. I do not deserve to bear the burden for someone that has hurt me. You do not deserve to bear the burden for someone that has hurt you. Don't drink the poison.

I forgive for myself. I forgive others to lift the burden of hurt and hate and negativity off of my heart. I forgive so I can continue to keep being the big-hearted person I am. I forgive to make way for new relationships and for healing old ones. I forgive, not to ease the pain of the other person, but to allow for my own happiness.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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