I think everyone has a little bit of romantic inside of them. Of course, the dosage of romanticism differs from person to person. Take me for example: I hate clichés, especially in love stories. Absolutely hate them. PDA grosses me out; If you participate in PDA, you can bet that I despise you as a person. I will watch Rom-Coms, but there are only a few I can stand. Overall, I’m a bit of a grouch when it comes to love.
However, even my stone-cold heart is susceptible to the “What If” Guy. Who exactly is the “What If” Guy? He’s the guy you notice from across the room; the one who makes your heart beat kind of fast. You feel ridiculous, but you can’t seem to help it, and that infuriates you. You make an actual effort to talk to him, and each new conversation becomes your favorite. He’s your “What If” Guy because pretty soon, you find yourself daydreaming about what would happen if he liked you back.
Daydreaming is dangerous. Spend 10 minutes and all of a sudden you’re spending your 50th wedding anniversary on a cruise to the Caribbean. You guys had a nice time, but then you wake up to reality. Your friend breaks the news, or maybe you found out from all of your social media investigating: he’s taken. To the outsider, this will sound trivial and stupid, but to the girl who allowed herself to open her heart, nothing is more saddening. Yes, even if the “What If” Guy in question had no idea about her feelings, it will still hurt.
What now? The overall goal is to eventually move on, but how does one do that? Now, to those that refuse to take something like this seriously, saying, “It was only a crush, just get over it”, I offer this analogy: Take two different people waiting in a doctor’s office. One has broken their arm, the other has a sprain. Two different people with one having a more serious condition of the other, but both are given the same care and attention. In the same way, your heart may not be broken but sprained and needs time to heal.
Healing can come in many different forms. You might be the type to grab a pint of ice cream and watch "Pride and Prejudice" or maybe you prefer the “Forget he ever existed” method. But let me offer a suggestion. I learned this method from a friend who had gone through a terrible break-up. She asked a mentor how to cope, and this is what he said
Pick a time frame. A week, two weeks...etc.
Let's say you picked a week. Starting now until next week of the same time you have your pity party. Feel free to feel bad for yourself, blast the “Forever Alone” playlist on Spotify, eat your body weight in chocolate, do whatever you want to, but as soon as that week is done, you get up, brush yourself off, and live your life.
When I first heard this method, I thought it was incredible. It works for a lengthy relationship or even getting over the “What If” Guy in your life. I think sometimes we spend too long hung up on our heartaches. This is time that we could spend working on our careers or building our precious, life-long friendships, and instead we choose to spend them crying over a guy who didn’t even know we liked him.
If the world was a perfect place, no one would ever have to use this method because their hearts would never be sprained or broken, but unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. Hearts are broken every day. Instead, I pray that you heal quickly, never run out of ice cream, and always have a friend to share it with.
