Many people know at least one person who was a foreign exchange student; whether they came to America as the exchange student, or they knew someone who left America to be the exchange student. I, myself, know a few people who left America to be exchange students, and I also know a few people who came to America as exchange students. I always had good experiences when I met foreign exchange students, and therefore had a desire to house one. I never thought it would happen (due to only having enough room for my dad, me, and my two sisters), but I always hoped that my dad would ask me and my sisters if we would want to do it someday.

My junior year, that all changed and changed quickly. A foreign exchange student from China who went by the name of Cherry, came at the beginning of the year. She was in my zero hour Aerobics class, and was staying with one of the girls in the class. I remember the first couple of days of school, seeing her sit alone during lunch at the large tree in my school’s courtyard; my friends and I ate at the tree next to the one she had been sitting at. Remembering she was in my class and feeling bad that she hadn’t been eating with anyone, I told my friends I was inviting her over to eat with us. I walked over, said hello, introduced myself, and told her I thought she was in my class - which she said she was. I asked her if she wanted to eat with us; she agreed and picked up her things and came with us. I introduced her to everyone, she said hello, sat down, and introduced herself. She was shy and seemed overwhelmed by the amount of people sitting there and how many questions she was getting, but happy that she now had a place and people to eat lunch at/with.

She was quiet at first, and every day during lunch we asked her many questions about China - just as she asked questions about America. My favorite question asked was about drinking in China versus drinking in America. We discovered, mostly due to her lunch, that she was staying with a Japanese family. The mother was from Japan and her daughter is a Japanese-American. She cooked her traditional Japanese meals, and Cherry always offered for us to try the food if we wanted.

I also discovered that she was actually having a difficult time there. There was a language barrier as the mom and daughter spoke to each other in Japanese, and tended to talk about her in Japanese to each other. This also caused misunderstandings between the mom and Cherry. There was a culture clash that made the mom disagree a lot with what Cherry was doing. After only housing for her for two months, they ultimately decided it would be best if she found another family - which Cherry was okay with because she didn’t want to be there.

In about October or November, her exchange company found another family. This family included a single mom and two girls. The mom was from China as well, but from a different region - one that spoke Cantonese. Cherry spoke Mandarin. The daughters didn’t speak to her much, and the mom made her help in her local restaurant; it was non-paid work, as it was against the rules for Cherry to have contracted, paid work. This wasn’t a huge problem, except Cherry was taking many AP classes and it made her busy. Not only that, but the mom scared her. She tended to not tell Cherry when something was wrong, bottle her emotions, then yell at her - a lot. It made her scared to tell her things or remind her, even if she had told her about it before. She was scared that she would get mad again. So, she stopped telling her host mom, and would talk to her coordinator instead. The host mom also believed she was going to be paid for this- which as a host family, you aren’t paid to host a foreign exchange student.

All through this, I was talking to Cherry and giving her advice. She continued to eat lunch with us, and she kept me updated on everything. But, on the last day before winter break, she came up to me in the hall before I was leaving school. She looked at me and said, “Emma, what are you doing during winter break?”

I looked at her thinking, "Oh, she probably wants to hang out.” I responded and said, “Nothing, why?” That’s when she told me what was actually on her mind.

“My host mom kicked me out. She said, ‘Happy birthday! For your 18^th birthday, we’re kicking you out. You need to find another family to stay with.’”

I was confused. “What, your host mom kicked you out?”

She shook her head, and then asked me, “Can I stay with you? I have no where to go, and my coordinator doesn’t have another family lined up. It would probably only be about two weeks.” It was obvious she was desperate and frustrated at the fact that this was happening for the second time and on her birthday.

I didn’t know how to respond. I had always wanted to host a foreign exchange student, but it wasn’t my decision to make - it was my dad’s. I told her I would ask my dad and let her know what’s going on.

I went home later that night, already knowing that my dad would probably feel bad for her, but would say no, due to a lack of room and the fact that we were struggling a little bit financially. But, after working up the courage, I went into his room and told him everything that happened - emphasizing that she didn’t have a family to go to yet and it would only be two weeks. My dad listened and said he would think about it. I told him they didn’t really have time for him to sit on it for a few days, and he gave in and finally said yes. I texted Cherry to let her know and she contacted her coordinator, who told us everything we needed to know.

I got a text from her coordinator, who was so excited we were willing to take in Cherry on such short notice. She told me that they would be coming in the next 1-2 days to check the house and make sure she has a place to sleep and that it’s livable. When she came, she took a picture of every room, the outside of the house, the backyard, and one of me and my sisters. Our paperwork to let Cherry stay with us was pushed through, and we were approved to have her stay with us before the paperwork was even formally approved, but only after my dad’s background check came back clear.

We had no idea when she would be moving. It was a total surprise. On Christmas Eve, we got the text to go pick her up from her current host family and that she was allowed to move in. I went over, and after about an hour of moving all her things into my car, surprisingly not needing a second car or trip- she had a lot of stuff- we left and were on our way back to my house. We came home and everyone did their part to help her move in. She was going to be staying in my room, while I moved into my older sister’s room as she was in college. All she could say for the first few days was, “thank you.” She didn’t change anything about my room, except make it messy - which I didn’t mind. That night we went to dinner at my one of my best friends’ houses for a Christmas Eve dinner, and she got to experience a pretty traditional Christmas dinner.

Christmas Day came, and over course, we all were excited. I went and opened up my stocking, only to remember that Cherry didn’t have one. Cherry doesn’t celebrate Christmas; she’s Buddhist, but she was very open to new experiences and learning new things. She rolled with our traditions, and came with us to my aunt’s house where we celebrate every holiday. I had contacted my aunt the night before to tell her that Cherry was coming. I had warned her about a week before that we might be getting her, but told her the night before to confirm.

We walked into the house and everyone welcomed Cherry. We weren’t having our traditional Christmas dinner, as my aunt was tired of it. Instead we had lasagna, many types of lasagna. My grandparents, especially my nana, welcomed her with open arms and loved talking to her. She even told Cherry that she now had a Chinese granddaughter and that Cherry had a white grandmother now. Then came time for gifts. Cherry sat and watched everyone pass out gifts. Almost all of the gifts had been passed out, when my aunt came over. She looked down at her, and handed her a stocking.

She said, “Santa knew you’d be coming here today and gave this to me instead,” and handed her the stocking.

Inside was the usual stocking stuffers. I explained to her that this was a part of Christmas. She got up and hugged my aunt, and told me she didn’t understand why everyone was giving her gifts when they didn’t know her. I told that’s what Christmas is about. Just a few seconds later, my aunt and my nana come back with more presents. She kept telling them they didn’t need to, and they said, “Yes, we do! It’s Christmas and you’re part of the family.” We included her in our annual Christmas Scrabble game. Everyone teamed up, her and I together obviously, and we came in third! We wanted to make sure she had a great first Christmas, even if it was the only Christmas she’d ever celebrate.

Two weeks passed, and there was no new family found. We returned to school, and everything was normal for the most part. I had to wake her up most mornings as she enjoyed staying up to play video games with her friends back home, but she’d also make us coffee pretty much every morning. That was something I never did, have coffee every morning, but since she made it for me and my younger sister, I drank it.

One month passed, two months, three. No family had been found, and my dad told the coordinator to stop looking because he was fine with her staying and that he wasn’t going to make her go to a new family that late in the school year. Because she now had a more stable environment, she wanted to start introducing us to her food and showing us her culture. She loved going to the Chinese market, finding foods from home, and cooking the foods she loved. We got to try some of them, and sometimes she would make them without asking, she would just make them for us after school. They were always so good!

The end of the year came, and we knew we’d have to say goodbye. But, towards the end of April, she asked me what I was doing that summer. I told her I didn’t know other than swimming. She told me her mother invited me to go back to China with Cherry and stay with them. She had been so thankful for us taking her in, and for me being such a great friend. She offered to pay for my tickets there and back. After talking to my parents, and even my swim coach, we told her I would love to go visit.

May 23 came and we left bright and early to go to LAX and then to the airport in Hong Kong, where we would take a car ride into mainland China where she lives. I spent two weeks there, sleeping in her apartment, going to the local spots, eating the local food, meeting her family and friends, and shopping.

Cherry and I still keep in contact to this day. She’s currently a sophomore at the University of Buffalo in New York. She’s an amazing girl and after not having a good first semester of her senior year of high school, finally wound up with the American family she had wanted, and got to experience the American culture. She went to prom, saw movies, stayed up late playing video games, went to youth group with me a few days, did community service, and went to school events.

Without her though, I wouldn’t have gotten the experience I had always hoped for. I wouldn’t have fulfilled my dream of being a host family, I wouldn’t have learned as much about China or gotten to visit, had it not been for taking her in. Being her host family taught me that the host family really does matter in giving the exchange student the true experience that they what and expect. It also taught me to have respect for other cultures. I had to learn to understand the Chinese views on eating, religion, family, and in general, be patient with understanding her despite how great her English is. While I was never the exchange student, I still had a cultural experience I’d never forget.

I want to be a host family again sometime when I’m older with kids of my own. I want my children to be directly impacted by people from other cultures and backgrounds and have respect for people of different races, religions, ethnicities, and languages. I want them to learn from the exchange students, but also have those exchange students learn about our culture as well and get the experience they came for.

If you ever plan on being a host family, be open and welcoming to learning about their culture and why they do the things they do. Then, teach them your cultural and household practices. Never force them to do anything; if they choose to participate, great, and if not, they may choose to include themselves eventually. Be patient with trying to understand them and be open-minded. If they ask to cook you something from their home, but need to go shopping, take them shopping because you may not have that dish ever again.

If you know someone at your school who is a foreign exchange student, go up and say hello. You never know how much that one hello and offer to sit with them at lunch or hang out after school could mean to them. You will always be teaching them new English words, be taking them to American fast food, and wanting to take them to school events. Do it! These things will mean a lot to them and having friends will mean more to them than the normal American kid. It’s even harder for them since they don’t know anyone in the country and sometimes don’t know how to make friends in a new country. They don’t know the customs, which can make it difficult for them to sometimes know what’s appropriate and what isn’t. You being their friend can make a world of a difference. I know being Cherry’s friend, and eventually host family, made a difference for her experience here in America and changed her outlook on being here - maybe you can do that for someone else too.