I don't know when, but at some point in my life I was told or led to believe that happiness was a default setting. If you're anything like me, you probably entered adolescence feeling as though negative emotions were the enemy — that any sort of sadness or disappointment would automatically make you a dull, bummer of a person to be around.

The funny thing is, as I grew older, I began to realize that such a trend was happening outside of myself. In fact, everywhere you go, it seems to me that everyone is selling positivity like it's a hot commodity that's flying off the shelves.

Don't get me wrong, positive thinking is an important tool to have as you go through life and deal with the tough issues you'll inevitably be handed. It's a wonderful philosophy to try and implement, but it's been misunderstood entirely into making those who buy into it believe that happiness is a lifestyle, a personality trait, or something that defines who they are.

The social media lie

I'm willing to bet that every single person reading this has seen something on their feed today that says something along the lines of, "Think positive thoughts," "Good vibes only," or "Choose happiness," followed by smiling faces hovering above captions that preach to you how wonderful life is if you only care to look around.

There's obviously nothing wrong with sharing your happy moments online, but it's also no secret that it's become quite the competition to see who's living life to the absolute fullest, who's having the most fun, and above all who is the happiest.

If you struggle with happiness, as I and many others do more than they'd like to admit, this can make you feel like there must be something wrong with you for not being stoked on life all the time. It forces you to look in the mirror and think, "What's wrong with me? Why can't I live my life like that? Why can't I just be happy all the time?"

Happiness is an emotion, not a lifestyle

In any given day, you're expected to have a number of emotions come and pass through you as you react to any given situation. That's life —there's no way to avoid sadness, boredom, apathy, frustration, or anger, but on the flipside, you can also take comfort in knowing that they won't last forever either.

Happiness, contentment, and excitement are all the same way. If you're expecting yourself to only feel one emotion, you're setting yourself up to ultimately be left feeling as though there's something wrong with you for not being happy all of the time. The good news? There's not.

It's awesome to be happy and excited and to try and implement positivity into as many areas of your life as possible. But it's also OK to not be OK. It's normal to feel moody, sad, melancholic, uninterested, or like you just want to be alone. And above all of that, it's also OK to just be fine.

Too often we start thinking that we need to live our life based on extremes, it's completely normal to not either be constantly up or constantly down, but somewhere in the middle. Even the happiest people you scroll past on Instagram will have problems, moody phases, or days where they don't feel like themselves. That doesn't make you boring, uninteresting, or weird. It makes you human.