First off, let me tell you that you are lucky hat this horrible disease hasn't struck your family. In today's world, drug addiction is becoming more and more normal. Very rarely do you meet anyone who doesn't know someone who is addicted to some sort of drug- whether its prescription pills, alcohol, or heroin- it's almost considered a norm. A norm that we as a society don't want to accept.
My father's addiction started when I was 14 after my mom passed. At first, it was just constant drinking, but progressively grew into prescription pills and eventually things were happening that I wasn't even aware of. Before any of this happened, I didn't really know an addict. Drugs weren't a major problem that I was informed about- I went to a school surrounded by corn fields, so I never was pressured into drugs, nor did I think that my family or friends would be affected by drugs.
The moment you have a loved one slip into addiction, your entire world gets flipped upside down. That person you love and know completely change. It's a terrifying thing to watch. Someone who was once compassionate, motivated, and kind was now an angry, unattached, and a ticking bomb that was completely unpredictable. You can never predict what an addict will do, and you can't control them. You are in a constant battle with yourself, and with that person and it will mentally and physically tear you apart. You want to be so angry at that person for continuing their addiction and you wonder why they would choose that. Why would they want to use those drugs? Why would they spend the money? Why won't they pick me over their drug use?
You'll wonder why you're not good enough. You'll make lists, things that you think you need to do to prove to them you're worth it, they are worth it, and life is worth it. You will run yourself into the ground thinking of ideas to help. You'll do things to make you seem like a superstar, and hope they will want to continue in your success. You'll purposely screw up in hopes that the addict in your life will realize you need them.
You'll hear so many "I'm sorry's," that the words become numb. You'll also hear constant stories about the sobriety they hope to achieve. You'll lay awake at night and wonder when their body will finally give up and you'll get that horrid phone call. But eventually, you'll finally give up. You will finally realize that no matter what you do, their addiction is their responsibility. They have to do it for them, and you ruining yourself is only hurting you.
If you know someone who is effected by an addict, please be kind when asking them if they are okay. Please realize their heart is hurting more than words can explain. Know that maybe they don't want to talk, but just cry. If they can't find the words, don't get angry at their lack of communication, but know they just need someone there for them. Don't use harsh words, or inform them "not to worry about them." It isn't that simple.
For those of you that call these addicts "junkies," "worthless," and "selfish," I hope you can realize those are real people, with families and friends who love and care about them. That alcohol and drug addiction is a disease, and while at once it became a choice, it was due to them lacking the life skills that drove them to use. I hope that you get some warmth in your heart, and instead of preaching so much hate on the topic, you can pray on it. These are peoples with families who want sobriety from them and for them. They are loved ones who unfortunately have taken the wrong road, but we pray for them to find the right path.
