I apologize for forgetting you.

As time slipped away,

I forgot about my feelings of grief.

My heart healed from the pain,

And somehow our memories dismissed themselves

From the forefront of my mind.

Back in 2007 when I was the tender age of nine,

Grandma, you left me to go to a better place.

I understood then that it was time for you to go.

You suffered for so many years.

Diabetes took a hold of your life,

Just like a category four tornado.

Our family was devastated at the news.

We all thought it was a horrible joke at first.

Everything we considered normal changed.

Suddenly, our normal was doctor visits,

Observing what you eat, and checking your blood pressure regularly.

Then Breast Cancer decided to come

And destroy what we considered our new normal.

Life began to get harder and harder.

I believe that back then, I would always demand to come see you

Because I didn’t want anything to happen to you.

Sadly, my worst fear would become true.

It was a Saturday night if I'm not mistaken,

And the rest of our family went out.

It was just me and you in your homemade hospital room.

I was taking you to the bathroom,

When you told me that you suddenly couldn’t breathe.

I rushed (well as much as my nine-year-old body would let me)

To get you to the bed in the living room.

I tried to keep my eyes on you, andcall one of our other family members.

As everyone sped to get to our location,

My mind was preoccupied with what to do in this situation.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head,

And in a sense, I saw you leaving your physical body.

I knew you were going to better place,

But I kind of blamed myself for your death in a way.

Maybe if I was older, and I knew to call 911

She probably would have lived.

I will never forget the anguish my mother

Felt when she saw grandma laying lifeless on the bed.

She ran to the kitchen and fell to her knees.

Her cries reached to the heaven's for her mother to come back.

As I think about it, maybe my mother's adventurous years

After grandma'sdeath were her way of consoling herself.

Mother I wish I could have been your rock at that age.

I couldn’t fully process her death until I got older.

My young age and naivety kept me from understanding that

She left our family for good until we got to Heaven.

Grandma, I miss you sincerely.

Please come back.