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For The Love Of “Queer Eye”—Please STOP Saying These 5 Things To Your Gay Friends

One for JVN, one for Bobby, one for Karamo, one for Tan, and one for dear Antoni (#avocados).

Sam Arneson

Nov 13, 2019

UCLA

For The Love Of “Queer Eye”—Please STOP Saying These 5 Things To Your Gay Friends

https://pixabay.com/photos/gay-gay-pride-pride-parade-pride-1453594/

1. Calling them your "GBF” (Gay Best Friend)

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Calling someone your GBF, or "gay best friend," is generally NOT okay.

It commodifies them, makes them feel like they're a possession to be had and moreover a social asset instead of a true equal.

Whenever someone calls me this, it makes me feel really small, like being gay is the only thing of value about my personality.

If you love your queer friends to the moon and back, just call them your besties like everyone else!!

2. "My sister's cousin's friends roommate is gay, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DATE HIM/HER!"

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Oh my god, I'll say it once and never again—just because I'm gay DOES NOT mean I'm attracted to every other gay man alive.

That's not how it works and we DON’T have superhuman means of connecting.

I'm just like everyone else; I find some guys utterly gross and others totally hot. So please, unless I ask, do NOT set me up with random gays in your social network.

3. “So tell me about RuPaul's Drag Race."

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Yes, while I do love Clueless and have the Mean Girls script memorized, not all queer people like the same things.

I've never seen an episode of Drag Race in my life, but I have other gay friends who love it like a religion. Don't assume things about me just because I'm gay.

Let my actions and what I choose to reveal about myself tell the story.

4. “I respect that you're gay, but I don't think people can be trans/not identify with a binary sexuality or gender."

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Even though being queer is not the defining part of your friend's personality, they still care deeply about the LGBT community.

I've had friends tell me that they support me, but not other aspects of the LGBT community, and it's honestly heartbreaking. It's like they're asking me to make a choice between our friendship and my loyalty to a greater community, and that's just wrong.

If you don't understand what it means to be trans or non-binary, have a conversation with your queer friend. They might not know all the answers either, but it's better than turning your ignorance into hatred.

5. “Okay, so who's the man/woman in the relationship?"

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I've had even the closest of friends ask me this. Totally not appropriate, and way too personal!

We are both men.

That's the point, Karen.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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For The Love Of “Queer Eye”—Please STOP Saying These 5 Things To Your Gay Friends

One for JVN, one for Bobby, one for Karamo, one for Tan, and one for dear Antoni (#avocados).

In This Article:

1. Calling them your "GBF” (Gay Best Friend)

2. "My sister's cousin's friends roommate is gay, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DATE HIM/HER!"

3. “So tell me about RuPaul's Drag Race."

4. “I respect that you're gay, but I don't think people can be trans/not identify with a binary sexuality or gender."

5. “Okay, so who's the man/woman in the relationship?"

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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