He’s out there somewhere. The dilemma is we can’t find him as easily nowadays. Society has us believing that a like on Instagram, a retweet on Twitter, or a screenshot on Snapchat are more important than a conversation in person, a phone call with a voice on the other line, or simply put, a relationship, a real one, a good one.

What happened to the days when men asked girls on a proper date? The feeling of being taken aback by the chivalry a guy offers? That’s what this generation has lost a piece of. The simple idea of treating a girl as she should be. With respect, honor, and value. It’s now covered up by the desire to “get the girl”, to “have gotten with the girl”. Misperceiving beauty as finding her hot instead of graceful. No longer holding the door, pulling out the chair, or offering the jacket. Those gestures are now all viewed as unimportant and unnecessary in order to “secure” the girl. But those small notions are the most trivial. They show who a man is in his most genuine form, not what pressure to conform or have a good time has made him to be.

With chivalry taken away, girls tend to turn to themselves as the problem behind why they are deprived of a good guy, or any guy at all for that matter. Our minds become wired to think that guys believe we should realistically make our bodies fit a certain shape and size. For instance on Instagram and Facebook, we only post the highest quality pictures. Whether it made our legs look defined, our waist skinnier, or our hair more volumized, that image online is perfected to our liking. It’s the way we want others to view us. To be impressed. But alongside our photographs, are images of Victoria Secret models and movie stars, of which girls compare themselves to, and guys unfairly compare girls whom they know with.

At the end of the day though, good guys know there are more important qualities that should be placed at the forefront. Her sense of humor, her goals, her smile, and most importantly, the way in which she carries herself. And not just her confidence, but the message she sends out as to what she expects from others. Her own self-worth.

But before us girls truly believe in our own self-worth, we need to believe that we deserve more than an alcohol driven decision or a night(s) that let our inhibitions take control. As much as we wish for them to be perfect; those “relationships”, those posts with the most “amazing” guy we met at a party, they don’t last, and our desire to be loved is still ever-present. That chivalry that we subconsciously wish for won’t be found at a bar or frat house. The thing is, all men are capable of possessing such qualities, however due to the environment they are enclosed in, choose not to, frankly because that has never been the time and place for it.

But he’s out there. He always has been. Good guys are just hard to spot because sometimes they’re overlooked. It just takes a little poking and prodding, and A LOT of patience. There WILL be a guy who will fight for you, who will treat you as you want to be treated, and who will love you, sincerely and whole heartedly. Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places, maybe you need to find yourself first, or maybe the time simply hasn’t come. But when the moment is right, you’ll know, and he’ll be there. So don’t give up hope. Don’t settle for a random or OK guy because you think that’s all there’s left; just have faith in the good guys. If you just look a little closer and possibly from a different viewpoint, you’ll open your eyes, and eventually your heart, to something bigger and better than you’d ever imagine.