We’ve all been there. Whether it’s not feeling good enough for friends or family, a significant other, in school, at work or any other situation, at some point, we have all been there, and felt the pain of not being good enough.

I don’t have the greatest track record myself, and I can honestly say that I struggle with my self-esteem, and at times, find it extremely difficult to believe that I am good enough. From all of my mistakes and rough patches, I have ultimately learned that regardless of what anyone says, I am good enough.

Everything that you have been through in life this far is bringing you to exactly where you need to be. I know sometimes it’s rough to see and understand why some things happen to us, but through all the pain, heartbreaks, sadness and happiness, all of these understandings have produced a new profound level of living.

For the longest time, I was unable to see my true beauty and self worth. I would look in the mirror and despise what I saw. I tore myself down day after day, allowing what everyone said about me to get in my head and ruin me. It took a long time before I actually saw myself. Instead of seeing a broken woman, unworthy of anyone’s love or time, I saw a woman who had been through pain and despair, but remained strong regardless. I saw a woman who had so much love and happiness, and only wanted to see it returned. I saw a woman who had once been broken, but now saw a woman who recognized her true self worth and began loving herself.

When we go through rough patches in our lives, it is easy to slip into a negative state of mind, losing faith in ourselves. From everything I have been through, I have found the importance of loving myself. I have learned to not give anyone the power to determine my self-worth. I have learned to love myself each and every day, and most importantly, I have learned that I am good enough.

The truth is, you are going to be OK regardless of where you’re at, or what is going on.

Stop fighting with your past.

What’s done is done. We cannot go back and change what has happened, and we also cannot fast forward and alter what is going to happen. We need to live each day as it comes. The truth is, we can spend days, weeks, months or even years analyzing situations and never know why things happen the way that they do. We just need to have faith that everything happens the way it is meant to. As a wise individual once said, “An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it is going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.”

Know that you will be OK.

Sometimes things happen to us, and it feels like the end of the world. We feel broken, hurt and sad, and wonder if things will ever get better. Know that whatever happens in life, you will always be OK, and you will be even stronger than before. If you choose to let what happened to you make you instead of break you, you have the opportunity to love yourself and see the light and happiness that extends in front of you.

Want more from yourself.

Set goals. Be adventurous. Fuel positivity in your life. Do what you have always wanted and never dreamt that you could. Do not set limits for yourself and remember the sky is the limit. The only thing holding you back is yourself.

Learn when to move on.

Know when enough is enough. Life is far too short to settle for anyone or anything that does not bring you happiness at all times. Know when the right time to move forward with life is. Do not settle for anything less than you deserve. If you understand your own self worth and love yourself, you’ll understand what is not right for you, and you will know when to move on. Move forward, and do not look back.

Forgive but never forget.

Forgive those who have done you wrong, but do not forget how they made you feel. Remember, forgiveness is the first step to recovery. Holding anger against someone or something for what they have done to you wastes so much valuable energy and time. With all the time and anger you spend cursing at the negativity, you could be using it to praise yourself with positivity. Bad things in life are going to happen; it is inevitable. What matters most is that we learn from them and move on, and take them and allow them to make us stronger than we ever have been.

Do not regret.

Everything that has happened to you in life has happened for a reason. Like that job you didn’t get, the promotion you missed, the boy that broke your heart, a bad grade, and the friends you’ve lost along the way have all brought you to the now. All the pain of these understandings have produced a new profound way of living. If it once brought you happiness, there is no reason to regret it.

Know your worth.

And heading back to the basis of this article, know that you are worthy and you will always be enough. Never let anyone tell you differently. Unfortunately, life has a tendency to throw negativity our way. But what is important is how we respond to that negativity. We can let it break us, and sit around in anger and pain wondering why the worst things always happen to us. Or, we can let is make us, and we can turn the anger and pain into motivation, and get stronger and learn. Do not forget to love yourself in the process of loving something or someone else. Be your own hero in your life, and know what you want, and what you would not give into. You are perfect just the way you are.

I still have days where I look in the mirror and don’t always like what I see, as any normal woman may. But instead of sitting around and feeling bad for myself, I change my mindset to be happy. Why let anyone else have the power to control your mind and your emotions? More importantly, why let anyone else determine your own self-worth?

For anyone who has lived through pain and despair and has felt the pain of not being good enough, please know that you are wonderful and you are worthy. Do not give someone the power to determine your self worth, only you can. It is important we learn to love ourselves before we love anyone else. In due time, the right person will come along and make you feel so worthy that you’ll wonder why you ever settled for anything less. Sometimes we have to see the darkest of times to make our way to the brightest of times.

For anyone reading this, take a moment and reflect on all the good in your life. It is easy to sit back and pick out all your flaws, or to even see all the negative in your life. But regardless of where you are in life, or where you are heading, please believe that you are enough, and that you always will be enough. Do not ever forget that. You are loved, you are beautiful and you are worthy.