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For The Girl Who Could Never Say No

We have created this culture so if we do not like it, then we can change it.

Ashlyn Griffin

Apr 08, 2018

Kansas State University

327

Pixabay.com

For the girl who can’t say no...

It happened late one night when it was just me and him. He always said all of the right things. He seemed like he was the perfect guy. I thought he would never hurt me and even though I wanted to, I could not say no.

I asked him to stop but he did not listen. When things went too far, I could not say no. I could not say no but I did not say yes. Then it was over. He had gotten what he wanted from me and was gone.

This is the story of almost every other woman you talk to and it is now part of my story. When did we start valuing our own selfish desires above respecting another human being?

1 out of every 6 women will be a victim of sexual violence in her lifetime. I have six women in my family, that means one of us will be a victim of sexual violence in our lifetime if it has not happened already.

We should not be afraid to walk alone. We should not be afraid of becoming another victim. We should not be afraid to live our lives with one another. We have created this culture and if we do not like it, then we can change it.

Women, respect yourself enough to find someone that will respect you too. Men, you are not the problem just because you are a man, so be a part of the solution. As for all of us, we have a voice and we should use it. Stand up for the victim, speak up and be brave. Use your experiences to empower others and start to turn your pain into your greatest strength.

To the girl that could not say no...

Just because you could not say no does not mean it is your fault. It does not mean that you wanted it to happen. It was not just a miscommunication. What happened to you is not ok.

Just because you were dating that person does not mean you wanted it to happen. Do not let someone use your emotions to get something from you. If they care about you in any way, they should respect your body and your emotions without expecting anything in return.

“Just because” is not an excuse.

If you have been disrespected, if you have been abused, if you have been sexually assaulted, if you have been raped, I want you to know how truly sorry I am that we have allowed our culture to come to this. I want you to know that you did nothing to deserve this. I want you to know that you are not the problem and I want you to know that it was not because you could not say no.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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For The Girl Who Could Never Say No

We have created this culture so if we do not like it, then we can change it.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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