I wish you'd be able to comprehend just how my heart works.

I'm sorry, but I can't just be friends with you. I don't know about you, but you were my first true love. It's haunted me in every relationship, though I know (hope) I'll find somebody that drowns out all this with no effort.

I wish you'd understand that I have to break myself off completely to get over you, and that when I do get over you, it'll never be the same. We will never be close friends again. I care way too much about you, and I can't control my heart from caring too much. I can't be sorry for that. I can't be sorry for the person I am. I hope someday you understand why I had to do this.

Honestly, I thought you were the one. You didn't just speak to my flesh, you sang to my soul. And although we didn't have the same morals and beliefs, I thought I could teach you mine. I was wrong. I'm sorry for that. You aren't some horse that I can rehabilitate. You were a man and you weren't created to be my partner. I was just to stubborn to give into the truth God kept speaking to my heart.

I'm sorry for the way I ended things the first time around, I knew you'd never seen me mad. Honestly, I wanted to beat you into the ground. You must have been so confused, you looked like a little boy in my eyes. I couldn't understand how you couldn't see the wrong you were doing to me. It's easy to see now why you couldn't see the faults in yourself. You aren't mature, you don't have solid morals, you're lost, and you're confused. It's many things and I'll be praying for you. And wishing you could have been more understanding.

I'm sorry I have to leave again. I really, really am. But you haven't changed and I have to keep telling myself, "You were in love with the way he used to be. You were in love with who he never truly was." You hurt me and I apologized. You stopped caring and I tried harder. The madness of being in love alone.

Do me a favor and let me move one. You don't have to make everyone happy.