I have had many days where I've cussed and screamed "Why not me?!" I've said this time and time again when wondering why the boy I like does not reciprocate the same feelings. And often times I catch myself asking this question when I don't get the job or opportunity I wanted so badly, or the grades I so desperately studied for. I've said it when I see my friends getting new clothes, new cars or getting to go to all the cool concerts, while I work doubles at work, constantly wondering why I can't have what they have. The times I seem to use it the most are when I try my best but feel like I am still never enough for the people surrounding me.
Recently, I was complaining about how in shape a girl, who I knew from home, was with a family member. I was going on and on about how I had been trying to get fit for months and that this girl seemed to have lost weight over night (obviously unrealistic and very dramatic). I seemed to have said why not me enough times for this family member to catch on to the phrase. Suddenly, I was looked dead in the eyes and given five simple words that I haven't been able to get out of my head since... You are not for everyone.
And boy, was she right.
The truth is, sometimes your best isn't enough for what you want. The truth is, your best is enough to make you happy. I've grown up being a people pleaser and I am always concerned on what other think of me and my actions. I've always strived for the acceptance of others and wondered why I can't have what others have, but in reality your plan isn't what everyone else's plans are. I've spent so much time trying to be like everyone and get everyone to like me, that I realized that by catering my life to other's expectations for me and decisions for me, that it has closed me into a box of things I should do and not things I can do.
You can't have everything you want and not everyone will love you. That's life, and no one ever said it would be easy. But just because you don't get that job offer or get that person you like, doesn't mean you're worth less or 'not good enough,' you just have a different path and a different plan. You need to go through those heartbreaks, have those days where you try so hard you're completely, physically, and mentally exhausted. Those days where you do everything for someone and get nothing in return. Have those moments where if you had been five minutes sooner, you would have won. Sometimes you can't be enough for everyone and be for everyone. Sometimes you have to question 'why not me,' to enjoy those moments that are for you. So that when you find yourself on track of your plans, you can enjoy them and be thankful for them. Stop stressing over everything and questioning everything, everything will be fine in the end.
"God has a plan for your life. The enemy has a plan for your life. Be ready for both. Just be wise enough to know which one to battle and which one to embrace."
