Recently, I posted something on my Facebook about being overwhelmed by finals week. I was a first semester college senior, so I'm no stranger to finals, but this semester had been particularly difficult; one seasoned professor began changing his teaching methods, giving us exams designed to trip us up (to keep us sweating, he said), and none of our exams were scheduled. They were all a surprise. Add four other upper level classes to that, and school became more than a little stressful.
Not knowing about all of that, someone commented on my post and said, "Get ready for real life!" I'm sure this person rolled their eyes at my status, thinking about how little I had to worry about in comparison to what lies ahead in the proverbial real world. So this is addressed to people like that from people like me. I hope this helps us better understand each other.
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You see, that was not the first time I've been told something like that. My fellow college students and I hear it all the time, and frankly, we are tired of it. And many of us do not deserve it. By saying that, you imply that what we deal with now is trivial, and you belittle whatever we face or have faced in the past. While there may be plenty of college students who are handed their hearts' desires on silver spoons while they watch their grades drop, I do not know any like that. The ones I know work hard to maintain decent grades, and most have at least part time jobs. The ones who live at home still have bills to pay and food to buy, and an increasing number are moving out and making it on their own.
That means they have full time jobs in addition to a full time course load. In addition to that, many of my peers have families. I'm sure you've seen the statistics that more of us are getting married and starting families younger. So a good number of "college kids" are actually young adults with spouses, children, jobs, and classes.
Oh, and college has changed quite a bit in the last few decades. Many of those who've told my fellow students and I to brace ourselves for what's ahead are the ones who, when the come back to college after years away, struggle the most. School is different. The landscape of education is different. And it's gotten harder. Expectations are higher. There are more tests and more benchmarks to meet, and the university system still expects you to be out of the door in four years, which means you'll be in school most summers, too. I know, I know. You didn't have the internet. You couldn't Google something to find a source for your papers. And don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the technology I have at my fingertips. But with greater access to technology comes greater pressure on students to use it well. And we've grown up hearing that failure is not an option. One strike and we're out.
By now you're probably thinking that I haven't made my point. If raising families while in college is so hard, then we should all just wait. We should suck it up and have stronger work ethics, because we'll need it in the real world. Well, hear me out on this: you have no idea what another human being has gone through. Regardless of age, education, or stage in life. Tragedies, disease, and loss do not discriminate, and to tell someone they have no knowledge of what it takes to make it because they are young is just rude. You don't know if that college student has beaten cancer or if they've lost a parent or if they've been sexually abused. You don't know if they're battling a mental illness or a physical one or if they're trying to leave an unhealthy relationship. Unless that individual has specifically told you the details of his or her life, you do not know, and it is not your place to speak about whether or not they are prepared for post-college life. Children in middle school are dealing with things that children who grew up in the '60s and '70s couldn't have imagined. By the time 18 year olds get to college, they've seen more than you did at their age. It's true that you were a teenager once, but you haven't been one since then. Society has changed. Societal pressures have changed. And the world my peers and I are going into, shaped by people like you, is a scary one.
So do us a favor, and stop treating us like we're incapable of succeeding. Like we're bound to fail. Like you think we're idiots. We're not. And we can handle more than you think.
