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13 Foods To Keep Off The Thanksgiving Table

Don't bring salad. Don't be that person.

Bri Prosser

Nov 20, 2017

Furman University

744

13 Foods To Keep Off The Thanksgiving Table

Moody Air Force Base

Thanksgiving is here and it's time for food. Mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey, the works. But there are some foods you people bring to Thanksgiving dinner that should have been left at home.

So if you are even thinking of showing up with a casserole dish of these, you're un-invited from Thanksgiving if you bring them.

1. Ham

This is a TURKEY holiday. Ham has its time at Christmas. Get out of here with that foolishness? Oh, there's someone who doesn't like turkey? Too bad. There are plenty of sides to fill you up.

2. Any rolls but Kings Hawaiian

When I go back for a turkey sandwich later, I want Kings Hawaiian. The sweet perfectly balances the turkey. Leave your brown n' serves.

3. Any sweet potatoes that aren't a casserole

There is only one acceptable type of sweet potato. Try again next year.

4. Potatoes that aren't mashed

Baked potatoes have no place at Thanksgiving dinner.

5. Green bean casserole

This food is an abomination. It's gross. I don't care if it is a tradition. Traditions started somewhere and traditions end somewhere. This has got to stop.

6. Dressing

Nope, this is a stuffing only zone. If it wasn't in the bird, it doesn't go on my plate.

7. Brussel sprouts

I don't eat them any other day of the year, so why would I want them messing up my Thanksgiving plate?

8. Garden peas

We have corn, cornbread, sweet potato casserole and green bean casserole at the very least. Why do I need another plain vegetable when others have brown sugar on them?

9. Salad

I'm not a rabbit. I'm not letting salad take up valuable stomach real estate on Thanksgiving. That place could be storing turkey.

10. Non-giblet gravy

It'd better have eggs in it, too. That's the best part.

11. Cake or brownies

I'm down with cake and brownies every other day of the year, but this is a pie holiday. If it isn't pumpkin, apple, or pecan, please leave.

12. Cranberry sauce not from a can

It's those little ridges that dictate how much one serving is and keeps peace amongst the chaos. Let us have our peace and one serving of cranberry sauce.

13. Squash

See also: garden peas.Useless vegetable. Get it away.

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Recommended for you

13 Foods To Keep Off The Thanksgiving Table

Don't bring salad. Don't be that person.

1. Ham

2. Any rolls but Kings Hawaiian

3. Any sweet potatoes that aren't a casserole

4. Potatoes that aren't mashed

5. Green bean casserole

6. Dressing

7. Brussel sprouts

8. Garden peas

9. Salad

10. Non-giblet gravy

11. Cake or brownies

12. Cranberry sauce not from a can

13. Squash

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