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13 Foods To Keep Off The Thanksgiving Table

Don't bring salad. Don't be that person.

Bri Prosser

Nov 20, 2017

Furman University

744

13 Foods To Keep Off The Thanksgiving Table

Moody Air Force Base

Thanksgiving is here and it's time for food. Mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey, the works. But there are some foods you people bring to Thanksgiving dinner that should have been left at home.

So if you are even thinking of showing up with a casserole dish of these, you're un-invited from Thanksgiving if you bring them.

1. Ham

This is a TURKEY holiday. Ham has its time at Christmas. Get out of here with that foolishness? Oh, there's someone who doesn't like turkey? Too bad. There are plenty of sides to fill you up.

2. Any rolls but Kings Hawaiian

When I go back for a turkey sandwich later, I want Kings Hawaiian. The sweet perfectly balances the turkey. Leave your brown n' serves.

3. Any sweet potatoes that aren't a casserole

There is only one acceptable type of sweet potato. Try again next year.

4. Potatoes that aren't mashed

Baked potatoes have no place at Thanksgiving dinner.

5. Green bean casserole

This food is an abomination. It's gross. I don't care if it is a tradition. Traditions started somewhere and traditions end somewhere. This has got to stop.

6. Dressing

Nope, this is a stuffing only zone. If it wasn't in the bird, it doesn't go on my plate.

7. Brussel sprouts

I don't eat them any other day of the year, so why would I want them messing up my Thanksgiving plate?

8. Garden peas

We have corn, cornbread, sweet potato casserole and green bean casserole at the very least. Why do I need another plain vegetable when others have brown sugar on them?

9. Salad

I'm not a rabbit. I'm not letting salad take up valuable stomach real estate on Thanksgiving. That place could be storing turkey.

10. Non-giblet gravy

It'd better have eggs in it, too. That's the best part.

11. Cake or brownies

I'm down with cake and brownies every other day of the year, but this is a pie holiday. If it isn't pumpkin, apple, or pecan, please leave.

12. Cranberry sauce not from a can

It's those little ridges that dictate how much one serving is and keeps peace amongst the chaos. Let us have our peace and one serving of cranberry sauce.

13. Squash

See also: garden peas.Useless vegetable. Get it away.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

13 Foods To Keep Off The Thanksgiving Table

Don't bring salad. Don't be that person.

1. Ham

2. Any rolls but Kings Hawaiian

3. Any sweet potatoes that aren't a casserole

4. Potatoes that aren't mashed

5. Green bean casserole

6. Dressing

7. Brussel sprouts

8. Garden peas

9. Salad

10. Non-giblet gravy

11. Cake or brownies

12. Cranberry sauce not from a can

13. Squash

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2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

Sometimes, we just can't help the feelings we have

1. Wow. My voice sounds amazing with this song.

2. Okay, if you can't sing, don't do it.

3. But wait, I don't think I can be friends with someone who isn't going to jam out in the car with me.

4. Dance part in the car! Even when I'm alone. Because every song is my favorite.

5. Stop light. Act calm. Be cool.

6. Yes! Green light! Back at it!

7. I don't know this song, but I'm going to sing along anyway.

8. Why am I not famous yet?

9. Being next to someone who can't sing so you feel good about yourself because you rock!

10. OK, I'm so good. I need to sing louder so I can help these people out.

11. My voice doesn't reach some of those notes, maybe I should sit this one out.

12. Randomly bursting out in song and getting weird looks because of it.

13. God, thank you so much for giving me a good voice.

14. Man, I feel bad for people who can't sing.

15. Was I just humming? Did they hear me?

16. Having dance moves to go along with most songs.

17. Not being able to stop yourself at correcting people when they mess up.

18. Maybe I should post myself singing.

19. Nah, can't do it. Dumb idea.

20. Having my own personal concert in the shower. Every single time.

Normal people wouldn't understand

1. Having time to nap between classes or at all.

2. Waking up 10 minutes before your class starts and making it there in time.

3. Making it to class in general

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10. Finishing an assignment before the due date.

11. When there is free food on campus.

Becuase of all things to be addicted to, you're addicted to making money.

1. You can't remember your last day off.

2. Whenever someone asks to hang out, you're working.

3. When you do see your friends, you're in a "treating mood."

4. You work so much you don't have time to spend the money you're making.

5. You're too tired to function when you aren't working.

6. Finally seeing your friends and having way too much to catch up on.

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