One acronym that has proved to be used over and over again by people is FOMO, or the fear of missing out. People don't want to miss out on a gathering in fear that something great is going to happen, or they won't be in that Instagram picture the next day. Either way this is a phobia that many people are plagued with. I, on the other hand, do not have many instances of FOMO. Sometimes I wish I had been at a gathering so I knew what my friends were talking about the next day, or I wish that I had been in that picture that they love so much, but rarely do I have intense feelings of FOMO. Instead, I suffer from FONBI.
FONBI is the fear of not being invited. This fear will cause me constant anxiety before and after an event. To me, this is one of the worst fears to have to deal with. When you know an event is going to happen, and your friends invite you, you are beyond grateful that you got that invite. I mean, you also expect to be invited, since they're your friends, but you are still grateful just the same, because now you won't be plagued with FONBI. When you are invited, and you have to decline that invitation, it's fine, because at least you were included. For me, FOMO is not a fear that is going to occur because my mind is at ease that my friends at least thought of me by inviting me. Even if they think that I will be busy, it's still comforting to get that invite just so FONBI doesn't occur.
Nothing is worse than seeing pictures, Instagrams, or Snapchats of your friends together at a gathering when you never got an invite to it. This is when the fear of FONBI comes to life, and the hurt and sadness sets in. You sit there all day wondering why you weren't invited, and it eats you up inside. Even if you know you could not have made it, it's the fact that the invite was never given that really can ruin your whole day, week, or even month if you are like me and have a hard time letting things go.
And the feelings of FONBI can start way before an event even occurs. Sometimes FONBI doesn't hit until after an event, because you weren't aware of it in the first place, but other times, it begins before the day even comes. If you know that a big holiday, birthday, or significant date is coming up and your friends talked about maybe doing something, but then you never hear about it again, the anticipation of whether it is happening or not and you just aren't invited will leave you overthinking for days. If that event happens and it did turn out that you weren't invited, then the feelings of hurt and dismay start to set in. If the event turns out to have never happened, then you just wasted days of your life being anxious and fearful for no reason.
FONBI is a fear that develops over time. If you feel that you suffer from this, then you have probably have had past experiences with not being invited which then resulted in a fear of this happening. I've had my fair share of not being invited to different events that my friends have gone to. It doesn't matter how small or large these events may be, not being invited hurts the same way.
So let's take a stand and end FONBI today!
