From a young age, we are taught to listen to our parents, teachers, and elders. We are told to never question their instructions and to show them the utmost respect. We are informed that what they say is true and should take their lessons and words out in society to forever follow. But should we follow those older than us so blindly? After all, we’re all human. We learn in different capacities. It’s a very rare and unnatural thing to have everything you speak to be correct. Words can be jumbled up and lost in translation. Not only that, the world is constantly evolving. As a society, we are unable to stay in one place for long periods of time, due to discoveries being made around us. There is never a constant in this world.
I have learned the greatest lessons in life from people who happen to be older than me, but I have also learned to not make the same mistakes they have. I have learned and discovered things in this world by participating in what this life has to offer, though the fear I had of people and judgement was forced into my brain.
Sometimes it’s people around your age who make you insecure, but there is also the fear of being told you’re incorrect by an adult or someone who you respect or look up to. Because they grew up in a different generation, adult figures may not be as accepting towards some situations, though this is not the case for all. Throughout time, adults have passed on lessons to youth and that has continued over the decades. Sometimes these lessons are for the worst and sometimes they are for the better. We all are influenced by something or someone out there.
During high school, I would never question the authority above me. I was convinced that society didn’t care about my opinion because I simply didn’t exist. My estranged father and ex-stepmother would throw heavy and evil words at me, which caused my voice to deteriorate. Along with being bullied by peers at school, the pressure became too much to keep walking with. There were many times I collapsed. Eventually, I picked myself up and started looking at the world differently. Once I entered my sophomore year of college, I began to gain self confidence and believe in the power of my words and the usage of my voice.
Over the course of my life, I’ve heard ignorant things said. But the fear caused me to halt in my tracks and made my tongue become tangled as I tried to manage words to inform those they are incorrect. My skin was thin, weak and bruised. Currently, I’m at the point where I’m not afraid to disagree with people. Although I was insecure in high school, I also happened to be extremely stubborn when it came to what I thought was right and what I thought was wrong. There were things I would never participate in because I knew what occurred to those who acted without thought. Though ignorance surrounded me, I refused to join the majority. Words can be toxic and have consequences, so you must speak carefully. Often, people forget that words have a dangerous essence to them that can slide off their razor sharp tongue.
In high school and college, you will always come across teachers who will ask the class questions and wait for a hand to shoot up. Once a few hands shoot up, they make it their duty to find a student who does not know the answer and pick on them. Meanwhile, you have these people who have volunteered and are confident enough in their answers to raise their hands, but for some reason, teachers can be like vultures and pick out the weakest. They usually pick certain students who don’t seem to participate or look like they’re wandering off in space, which can sometimes be true, but there is also the possibility of a student being afraid of saying the wrong thing. Sometimes it’s a confidence issue. Making an embarrassment out of a student, pointing out their blatant ignorance on a topic does not further advance the student. It just makes them more afraid of speaking. If you want students to participate, you have to let the student grow at their own pace. Some of the teachers I’ve had have been understanding to this feeling, meanwhile others make participation part of your grade. As long as you’re doing the work and not slacking off, speaking won’t make the difference.
During my freshman year of college, I did not pass my math class, due to having a teacher who would speak very quickly, not answer my questions, and force those who were not confident in their answers to write them on the board. Though this occurred, I ended up taking a different math class sophomore year, which I passed with flying colors. This professor walked us through the questions if we didn’t understand them, talked at a reasonable pace, and didn’t force us to participate because he understood some students may not be comfortable speaking in front of large groups of people. Now, I don’t have a problem with speaking in front of the class as much, because I have grown, but if I’m not raising my hand, understand that I don’t know or am unsure. I would rather you inform me on what is right, in order for me to take note of it, instead of throwing off the pace of the class with pauses and stutters as I try to come up with some sort of answer, which causes an interruption to everyone’s learning.
When it comes to politics, I feel as though some professors do not have the authority to push boundaries, which could throw you into dangerous waters. A professor who I had in the past wanted my class to write from the perspective of the citizens of North Carolina and explain why we do not believe in LGBTQ rights. Many of the students in the class had trouble with this topic, but remained quiet. Upon hearing what I had to do and because I have many friends who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, I could not allow myself to get in this dangerous mindset and put words down on a piece of paper that I do not believe. The idea that I had to write my name on a paper, which concluded hatred, though hypothetical, I still felt hurt and attacked by the subject. I had to write homophobic things in order to get an A? The point of the class is that it teaches you how to write for a company or a certain person who has hired you, but out of all the controversial topics you could pick, this one crossed a dangerous boundary. My friend next to me and I discussed in whispers how unfair this assignment was, due to having such close friends who have a different sexual orientation. We had to look up articles on poisonous words.
This topic also provided danger because you are never aware of what your students are dealing with outside of the classroom. Many people battle with their sexuality and are figuring it out. Some people are bullied and hated to the point where they feel their safety is at risk. After a while of sitting there, my professor turned to me and asked me to do my assignment. I was planning to just sit in the class quietly and not participate because despite my disagreement with the topic he told us to write about, I wanted to leave the class learning something about professional writing. Now, you’re probably thinking, how will I be able to learn if I don’t participate? Well, how do you expect people to contribute to a more functional and loving society, when there’s so much hatred around us? And now your professor is telling you to be part of that, though it’s a hypothetical situation. I informed my teacher I would stay in the class, but I don’t want to do the assignment because I thought it was ignorant.
Last semester, my college put on the show the Laramie Project, a true story, focusing on a young male named Matthew Shepard who is killed by a hate crime, due to his sexuality. There have been people discriminating against the LGBTQ community on the Curry College campus and the story of Matthew Shepard was important because it gave understanding to what other humans who love to love, despite the gender, are dealing with.
My professor told me that I could leaven the class, and I surprised myself by gathering my belongings, leaving my friend behind and walking out. One thing I do not doubt is walking out of that class, although others stayed. As said before, I am stubborn and love intensely. If I believe in something, I will not let others dictate how I feel. Yes, in life, we all have to make tough choices and do things we do not want to do, but in my mind, if I worked for someone who did not have the same morals and outlooks as I did, I could not stand by it, despite what was on the line. If I am able to do that for a company, I can most definitely walk away from a class with no regrets on my mind. Although this professor and I have different ideas on the matter, I’m fortunate to know where I stand as a human being.
Finally being able to say no to someone who may think they have control over the direction I plan on traveling has brought me a sense of empowerment. Life doesn’t matter much if you are too afraid to make the choices that causes your knees to shake and your stomach to flip. Your choices define who you will decide to be, so believe in what you think, don’t water the seeds that people who may have degrees or are older plant in your mind.
