My family is the philosophical sort. If you've ever had a meal with me and my parents or my siblings, you'll know this about us. We like to talk. We like to discuss. We like to throw opinions and ideas out and discuss them until they fall away and leave us with something we can all agree on. I like to think that my family is made up of philosophers, because we're always seeking the truth.

Our dinners are pretty legendary just from discussion alone, if I can brag about that, and we somehow always end up talking about culture, society, and the things of our world that confuse us or that interest us. Sometimes it's technology, sometimes it's political policies, and sometimes it's about our generational differences. Last night, for example, at dinner with my family, we started talking about the idea of happiness in our culture, because for some reason, my generation is very focused on the idea of "happiness," on being "safe" and "content." Essentially, on being settled and static and never moving forward.

I've spent many of my classes listening to people who are my age discuss old texts. It's kind of my major. Discussion over history and ancient documents and the people from those time periods fascinate me. What I've come to learn is that our culture is very different from the people who proceeded us. Take Augustine and Benedict. We discussed at one point the old monasteries of the Middle Ages and the requirements and vows that the men who entered monastic life had to take. In return for their pledging their life to the Holy Order, they were educated, and in some cases, were the most educated people of their time. They wrote manuscripts and created gorgeous pieces of artwork. They were intelligent and hardworking and pious people (for the most part.)

Now, as someone who had never lived a life like that, I thought that if I had been in that time period, that would have seemed like a pretty good option. Food and an education in a world where that wasn't guaranteed? It sounded like something I would be up for. Their rules were pretty strict, but that didn't seem like anything new.

I guess I expected people to feel the same way, but I was shocked when most of my classmates decided that they wouldn't do well in that life. Losing their independence wasn't something they wanted. They didn't want to listen to someone in charge. They didn't want to follow these rules. They would break out and form their own Orders. Why listen to someone who tells you what to do?

I have to admit, I was pretty surprised, but I had also forgotten that our culture is directly opposed to these things. According to our world, no one should tell you what to do. If you don't like something, you don't have to do it. If you're uncomfortable with something someone says, obviously they're in the wrong. We've lost a sense of self-discipline, because why should we deny ourselves pleasure if that thing that we want is going to make us "happy"?

And thus, we come back to happiness. "Happiness" is such a general term these days that it's hard to tell what happiness is. I feel like the best way to describe it to people is "the feeling of not having to worry about anything." Or, subsequently, "Being at a point where you are so perfectly in control and satisfied that you don't need anything else."

I'll be honest, it sounds pretty great, especially when the world is telling us that we should be afraid. "Be afraid of politicians," they say. "Be afraid, because the job market is crashing and the world is going downhill and people are being oppressed and you will never have enough money to be in a house and you'll be depressed and disappointed your whole life. And don't forget to not trust anyone, because you can only trust yourself!"

It's like they're trying to get us to fail before we even start. I mean, come on, when they said that they were "preparing" us for the "real world," it sounds like they're fattening us up for slaughter.

So yes, being "happy" sounds great. Having everything you want sounds even better. Never having to worry was the anthem of our childhood when we got The Lion King's "Hakuna Matata." We've been raised to wish for lifelong happiness. Get married and be happy. Have a house and be happy. Don't be afraid, but really do, because this is an illusion, and one mistake in your 20s and you're done for for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I want to tell you about the happiest people I know.

They're a group of missionaries, who live in Evansville, Indiana. They all work one day a week to help fund their mission work, and when they're not working, they're helping their neighbors. Sometimes that can mean helping them drive to the dentist's office because their neighbor can't afford a car. Other times, it means helping rake lawns or having groups of children over and baking with them or playing games. And everywhere you look, you can see they're happy. They're happy despite the fact that they live in an old, poor neighborhood. They're happy even though they eat very simply and don't spend money on things that aren't really necessary for their lives.

They're happy because they're not "happy."

In no way are they comfortably settled the way we conventionally thing that we should be. They work hard. Through sweat and tears they work to fulfill their mission of outreach, to help people. They're not "happy." They're generous and kind and gentle and strong and are searching for something more than the six seconds of happiness we get from giving ourselves whatever we want.

When did self-sacrifice and discipline mean we were going to be depressed and unsatisfied for the rest of our lives? We've lost something deep that we should have been striving for. What drives us? If we've lost all sense of drive.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable, but being so comfortable that we settle and forget about moving forward, we're doing something wrong. Being comfortable is a means to using our wealth and the opportunities we've been given to do something great with our lives. If we're stagnant and staying at home because we're not okay with pushing ourselves, we've lost our focus as humans.

Why don't we stop worrying about someone telling us what to do, and start worrying about other people? Your "independent streak" may make you think that you're happy, but you're also never stopping to think about the things that you could give up so you could have something greater later on. We are social beings. Read most of the philosophers whose words we used to write our constitution, they'll tell you all about it. We are people who work best when we work together, not when we've decided to shun the ways of other people and only love things with a cynical, sarcastic love.

So think about what you're doing, what you're striving for. What drives you? Is it the thought of settling down and staying the same place you've always been because you're too afraid to move? Or is it the horizon line, pink and orange and inviting, that holds so many possibilities that you just have to find out what it is?

Don't settle for being "happy."

Shoot for more.

The end may surprise you.