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58 Of The Best 'Florida Man' Headlines You Have To Read To Believe

You can't make this stuff up.

Mia McLaughlin
Apr 30, 2019
Michigan State UniversityMillennials of Michigan
40942
58 Of The Best 'Florida Man' Headlines You Have To Read To Believe
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In This Article:

I don't know what it is about Florida, but I'm convinced that it's home to some of the craziest people in the country. I'm sure by now everyone has seen some insane "Florida Man" headlines pop up on your Facebook or Twitter feed, most of which are downright hilarious. He's a list of 58 of the funniest headlines involving Florida men:

"Florida Man Flashes Buttocks at IHOP After Impersonating a Police Officer to Get Free Food"

"Florida Man Bites Off Neighbor's Ear Because He Wouldn't Give Him a Cigarette"

"Florida Man Attacks Nephew Over Undercooked Noodles"

"Florida Man Tattoos Black Widow Spider on His Face to Combat Arachnophobia" 

"Florida Men Attack Ice Cream Man Who Wouldn't Take $20 bill for Pickled Sausage"

"Florida Man Pokes Girlfriend in the Eye After She Served Him Waffles Instead of Pancakes"

"Florida Man Attempts to Leave Store with Chainsaw Stuffed Down His Pants"

"Florida Man Steals 36,000 Pounds of Crisco"

"Florida Man Attacks ATM with Hatchet After it Refuses to Take His Check"

"Florida Man On Drugs Kills Imaginary Friend and Turns Himself in"

"Florida Man Arrested for Calling 911 After His Cat Was Denied Entry into Strip Club"

"Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID After His Car Catches Fire at Taco Bell"

"Florida Man Attacked During Selfie with Squirrel"

"Florida Man Suspected of Using Private Plane to Draw Giant Radar Penis"

"Florida Man Charged with Assault with a Deadly Weapon After Throwing Alligator Through Wendy's Drive-Thru Window"

"Thousands of Gun Owners in Florida Planning to 'Shoot Down' Hurricane Irma"

"Florida Man Gets Tired of Waiting at Hospital, Steals Ambulance, Drives Home"

"Florida Man Who Tried to 'Run' to Bermuda in Inflatable Bubble Rescued by Coast Guard, Again"

"Florida Man Steals Neighbor's Peacock, Gets Chased by Angry Birds"

"Florida Man Arrested for Driving Stolen Vehicle While Monkey Clings to Chest"

"Florida Man Ripped Urinal from Restaurant Bathroom Wall, Ran Away Naked into Woods"

"Florida Man Disguises Himself in Bull Costume as He Tries to Burn Down Former Lover's House with Pasta Sauce"

"Florida Man Arrested in Local Park for 'Practicing Karate' on Swans"

"Florida Man Wearing Mop on His Head 'Terrifies' Neighbors with Demands for Eggs"

"Florida Man Asks Public for Help Looking for His 18-Foot Banana"

"Florida Man Arrested for Illegal Ride on Manatee"

"Florida Man Filmed Stealing Dozens of Pigeons While Wearing Trash Bag and Bucket on His Head"

"Florida Man Tries to Walk Out of Walmart with $172 Worth of Steak and Lobster Stuffed Down His Pants"

"Florida Man Threatens to Destroy Town with His 'Army of Turtles'"

"Florida Man Arrested After Hitting Dad with Pizza Because He was Mad He Helped Birth Him"

"Florida Man Intentionally Drove Ferrari 360 into Ocean at Top Speed

"Florida Man Does Donuts on Airport Runway"

"Florida Man Caught on Camera Licking Doorbell"

"Florida Man Shoved Woman Because he Wanted to Eat Egg Rolls in Her House"

"Florida Man Accused of Attacking Mom When She Wouldn't Dress His Mannequin"

"Florida Man Slapped with Big Mouth Billy Bass Singing Fish After Argument"

"Florida Man Dressed as Fred Flintstone Pulled Over for Speeding in 'Footmobile'"

"Florida Man Starts House Fire After Baking Cookies on George Foreman Grill"

"Florida Man Charged with Battery for Giving Girlfriend Wet Willy"

"Florida Man Worried About Vampires Intentionally Burns Down His Own Home"

"Florida Man Claims Shrimp Boat Captain Threatened Him with a Ham"

"Florida Man Robs Store Dressed as Spiderman"

"Florida Man Claims Syringes Found in Rectum Aren't His"

"Florida Man Wanted to Prove Independence to Mom so He Tried to Rob Gas Station"

"Florida Man Thought He Stole Opioids, Got Laxatives Instead"

"Florida Man Sentence to Jail and Moral Therapy for Attacking a Minion"

"Florida Man Had Daughter Sell Pot Brownies at School"

"Florida Man Gets Beaten Up by Easter Bunny"

"Florida Man Charged with Picking Magic Mushrooms While Carrying an Alligator"

"Florida Man Calls 911 for Ride to Hooters"

"Florida Man Arrested After Hitting Girlfriend in Face with Burrito"

"Florida Man Attacks Gas Station Clerk with Hot Dogs, Corn Dog Stick Over Beer"

"Florida Man Accuses Dog of Shooting Girlfriend in Leg"

"Florida Man Dances on Police Vehicle to Ward off Vampires"

"71-Year-Old Florida Man Tied a Gun to a Weather Balloon to Fake His Own Murder"

"Florida Man Arrested with Two Cans of Fart Spray"

"Florida Man Breaks into Crocodile Enclosure, Leaves Behind a Pair of Crocs"

"Florida Man Drives Jet Ski on the Street"

I don't know what's in the water down in Florida but it makes for some great headlines, partiuclarly ones that involvw food or alligators.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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