It’s a warm, July evening; a young lady is headed out to a dinner with her friends to a nice restaurant. She chooses an outfit of a summer dress and a pair of flip-flops to finish it off. She contemplates putting on a pair of sandals instead but decides that flip-flops will be more comfortable. As she is seated in the elegant dining room, an older patron at a nearby table leans over to his well-dressed wife and in a whispered voice, shaking his head, says in disgust “I believe flip-flops are the invention that has ruined the world.”

There was a time when people knew that the way they dressed, spoke to others or behaved should be dictated by the occasion, and that while some circumstances allowed casualness, others demanded formality as a sign of respect. Over the last few decades, we have become more casual with our dress code. It has become routine to see people wearing flip-flops on all occasions, even in those last bastions of decorum, work and church. Furthermore, few regularly wear a full suit and tie; this cavalier attitude toward overly casual attire would be completely out of the question to older generations. Unfortunately, it is all too commonplace to see people going out in town in athletic wear – and not just to the gym, but anywhere in public. Sadly, sweatpants are becoming the new khakis.

In addition to the casualization of our outfits and our shoes, there is a slide away from civility and knowing what is proper that my generation thinks is normal. The importance of grammar and the art of writing are losing their way in our world. Even those who are educated seem to be devolving into our modern dialect; newspapers, textbooks and online articles are playing loose with grammatical rules that were once untouchable. Does anyone still care about “who” versus “whom?” Our vernacular has turned into “text speech” in which we have substituted our Elements of Style grammar books for AutoCorrect on our iPhones. It’s more about “TTYL” versus “CUL8R.” The king of languages has been dethroned. Not only has slang overtaken grammar, but even old-fashioned writing is becoming a lost art. There is nothing better than receiving a handwritten letter in the mail, but sadly, pin and ink has become a thing of the past. Why spend ten minutes writing a longhand thank you note when you can send a text in ten seconds instead?

Further evidence that informal is the default way of the masses is the slipping away of our manners. Outside of the South, children aren’t taught to say “Yes, ma’am” and “Yes, sir,” as if having manners was some kind of an anachronism. There’s still a place for opening doors, pulling out chairs and showing respect for elders. These random acts of civility and kindness were once a routine part of our interactions, not a chore or an afterthought seldom remembered.

While I’m not suggesting that we go back to an antiquated, Victorian notion of formality, it’s still appropriate to take the time to dress for important occasions, show respect to elders, or to repay a kind deed with a respectful, written note including good grammar and no “text speech.” Now, I can be just as guilty of throwing on a pair of flip-flops to head to school or shortcutting the thank you note for my birthday gift with a text, but at least when I recognize this urge, I put in the extra effort and do my part to stop the slide toward sloppy living. As my generation gets older, it may not occur to us that one day we’ll be the elders. Do we want to live in a world where no one holds the door, gives up a seat or young people call us by our first names? We’re not too busy to put a little effort into the way we look, speak and act.

You see, Reefs and Rainbows, I believe that flip-flops are the invention that has had the most negative impact on our world. It’s not really just the shoes, but what they represent: the over-casualization of institutions that used to command respect. Maybe that older patron in the restaurant is onto something; flip-flops have ruined the world.