I have had so many "best friends" ever since I can remember, and out of the 12 that I can think of off the top of my head from preschool to college, I have talked to a total of 4 of them within the last six months. A couple of the best friends I knew when I was really little make me sad when I think of not seeing them any more, and wonder what kind of people they turned into. But then there's the more recent middle school and high school best friends. It amazes me how easily I can move on in my life and say that I no longer have contact with this person other than through social media and I am okay with that.

Since when was I okay with losing people? I've always hated moving on and leaving things behind, it's in my nature to become very attached to what I hold dear to me. I guess these people, who had a major part of my respect and companionship at one point in my life, were just temporary, fleeting friends who were there for me when I needed them but once I moved on, they were out of my life.

I tried staying in touch with a few of them, but I always got busy, or they never got back to me, or they would never reach out to me so I eventually got somewhat disheartened and stopped trying to be the one to plan everything. I always hated feeling like I was bugging someone to see if they wanted to do something on the weekend or during the summer. But those people never tried planning things to do with me, so I'd always just be stuck at home with no plans. So I'd get frustrated and annoyed and just stop trying altogether.

But that being said, I will always be here for all of the people that I have ever called my friend. If you ever want to talk, or meet up, or just reminisce about the old days, don't hesitate to let me know. Even if it feels like I fell off of the face of the earth, I'm still here and I still care just as much as the best of times we had. I promise.

There are people in your life who are meant to stay, but there are also people in your life who just shape your character so that you can be the best possible version of yourself. There is an impermanence of a majority of the friendships in your life, but that is okay. It is completely normal and healthy to have had so many best friends whom you no longer speak to regularly or even at all. People are always scared of impermanence and losing people, however I now know that this is just a part of life, and that you must learn the fleeting nature of things before you can be ready for the tough road that is the real world.