Hey, ladies. Breakups are hard, right? Because your man is the most important thing in your life. (He is, isn't he? Because if not, then he should be. Get it together. Rethink your priorities). Here are five surefire ways to get that special guy back in your life!
1. Slather all of his belongings in grape jelly.
You know that shirt he left at your place? Spread some good ol’ grape jelly on that garment. His favorite book ("Catcher in the Rye," perhaps?) Go through every page and cover it with delicious grape goodness. Next time he opens it up he will be delighted by this sweet surprise! His XBOX controller? You guessed it. Grape. It. Up. He will love it.
2. Send him one text every day for exactly 13 days.
Each time, the message should read: “The forest sees all. The ocean hears all. The sky knows all.”
This should do the trick, but if not:
3. Collect all of your tears in a jar.
Put a flower in the jar. Attach a note to the flower that says “Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. This is extremely important. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.This is extremely important. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. This is extremely important. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. This is extremely important. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.” Do not give him the flower.
4. “Accidentally” run into him.
Obviously not with a real car, okay? Just borrow your niece’s Barbie Jeep and cruise around town. When you see your ex, gently bump into him. He will probably want to know what you are doing driving around in a child’s toy vehicle. This is a great conversation starter. Soon enough, the two of you will be chatting it up just like old times!
5. Invite him to the zoo.
Take him to the lizard exhibit. Point out every breed of lizard and carefully explain the distinctions between each. Lecture him about the importance of lizards. He needs to know.
He needs to know.
He needs to know.
Hope this all helps!
